Why Just Him?

Sunday morning Alec was ready and packed.  He left for Alabama to go on a mission trip with our church.  He has been on overnight, even weekend events. . . here locally or just an hour north of here.  But this time, it is 5 days.  The girls and I could have gone, as 40 others were going with our church.  However, I know first hand (Guyana. . . yes, I will blog about it ONE day) just how much the Lord can do in your heart when you are apart from your comforts. . . comforts of home, closest relationships, contact, etc.  I've been praying the Lord did just that. . . a mighty work in Alec's heart. . . that Alec depended on Him in ways he never has before.  However, I will say it comforted my heart GREATLY that Faith was going to be there with her kiddos.  She was his 2nd mom for me.


 Being sappy mom that I am, I woke up early Sunday morning, had time in prayer and in the Word with the Lord and then proceeded to write Alec a letter.  Just the night before I was doing some cleaning and I came across a picture of Alec just in his underwear with a Bible man cape, hat, and sword.  This was no accident.  I smiled as I remembered my talkative, 3-year-old, active boy.  In the letter I wrote him I told him just as he was stripped to his underwear in that picture, he needed to strip himself of his flesh. . . and just as he was clothed in the Bible man cape, mask, and sword he needed to clothe himself with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, bearing with others and forgiving anyone who wronged him (Col 3:12-13).  I also told him to put on the full armor of God (Eph. 6:13-18).  I reminded him of who he is in Christ and just how much his Mama and His Lord love him.

I then picked out a scripture for every day of the week.  I enclosed these in an envelope.  Jenn. B did this for me in Guyana, and there were times when I clung to these more than my very breath.  I don't even have words to express what it did for my heart.


Sunday - that I was praying that whenever he opened his mouth  ^"that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel," Ephesians 6:19


Monday - "who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy." Psalm 103:4 - I reminded Alec God has redeemed his life and crowned him with steadfast love and mercy.  That he was to walk in that, believe God at His word, and obey Him.

Tuesday - "Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!" Psalm 105:4

Wednesday - "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved,compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,¹³  bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." Colossians 3:12-13

Thursday - "Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.¹⁴ Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, ¹⁵ and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.¹⁶ In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; ¹⁷ and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, ¹⁸ praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints," Ephesians 6:19

I can't wait for him to get home and tell me all the Lord has done this week. 

Giggle, Giggle, Snort, Snort

Since I love to laugh and I happen to think laughter is the best medicine, I thought I'd share some things that have made me laugh this week.

Hanna:  "Mom, when I grow up will I have boobs like you or Daddy?"

Gigi and I were having a conversation about Granddaddy and his decline.  I don't include details b/c I'd never want to dishonor him.  She was frustrated and just needed to vent.  Here's how the rest of our conversation went.

Me:  "Gigi, you know there is a purpose in all of this.  God works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose and He works all things for His glory (Rom 8:28).  You know, that is our hope.  That there is a purpose in all of this . . . all of the pain, all of the frustration, all of the whys, all of the hurt.  That is what we have to hang on to."

I hear Gigi get a little choked up.

Gigi:  Then in a very bold tone she says to me, "Michele, remind me when I get back home to hit you."

We both bust out laughing.

Gigi:  "And, NEVER say that to me again."

581.  For hope.
582.  For the truth and promises of God's word.
583.  For giggles.
584.  For giggles that make you snort.
585.  For family.
586.  For Gigi.
587.  For Granddaddy.
588.  For a sound mind.
589.  For the healing touch of both tears and laughter.
590.  For funny little girls.

Slowing Down

On my list to do today was to paint my bedroom, clean downstairs, cook lunch and dinner, take Alec to his grass cutting job, update my prayer journal, work (which is about 4-5 hours of my day), go by a house and leave out a key, go to Lowes, home school the children, vacuum the upstairs, review my scripture memory.

I got some of these things done.  However, a few weeks back I was stressed to the max.  The people I love most are the ones who suffer the most from this.  Hurry here, hurry there.  Meet this person's expectations.  Meet that person's expectations.  I was to the point of tears.  Medical Transcription AND real estate, commitments here, there, and yonder.  Alec said something to me that is changing my life.  "Jesus had 3 years to change the world.  He never was in a hurry.  He always took time for others.  He always took time to get alone with His Father."  Wow.  It was so profound (something he learned in discipleship with Marty). . . that in my hurried stressed mess I stopped cold and just stared.  I looked at my precious son. . . my boy who is becoming a young man and said, "THAT is powerful."

Along with that I'm reading, "1000 Gifts" although I've currently misplaced it and have been a little freaked out, but I know God will have me find it when He wants me to.  I'm still digesting all that I'm learning.  I'm a self-motivated, love to get things accomplished girl.  Read a few of posts and it won't take long to figure that out.  I've often confessed my struggles with myself in those areas.

I was sitting with Melissa yesterday and we were talking. We were talking about my Grandmother's birthday party on Saturday.  I really wanted to start my garden on Saturday.  I was telling her the me a year ago would have worked Saturday morning, run 4-5 miles, started my garden, got ready, wore heels, drove an hour, go to Grandmama's party with bells on, get home, return to my garden, cook dinner, then retire for the night.

The girl God is transforming me into . . . the girl who is attempting (although there are many days when I fail) to live FULLY in the moment. . . this girl on Saturday will go and celebrate her Grandmother's birthday, living each moment fully. . . from the time I wake until the time I sleep. . . that kind of day can't include 400 things to do, but can include 400 things to praise Him for. . . It's really hard to praise and live fully in the moment when you are rushing from this activity to that, from 1. to 2. to 3. on the "to do" list.

Sure, I won't get as much accomplished.  But the feeling of joy and peace I have living a life of praise, being fully in the moment, is a priceless treasure no amount of accomplishment can ever give me.

541.  Eating Cool Whip out of the tub with Hanna.
542.  Listening with my ears, my mind, my eyes, and my heart to the four I hold the dearest to my heart.
543.  The smell of grass being cut.
544.  A hard working young man.
545.  Giving myself grace to sit on the couch and rest and read (a treat and a rarity).
546.  Long talks on the phone with my hubby.
547.  An affectionate husband who loves to cuddle.
548.  The smell of white T-shirts.
549.  Ashley who tells every.single.detail of a story no matter how big or how little - just like her Mama.
550.  Hanna telling me she wished I was going to be at VBS this year.
551.  Hanna expressing her heart over me going to Uganda.  I'm so glad she is telling me her feelings.  She normally keeps them bottled up.
552.  "The Hole in the Gospel" and all God is teaching me through it.
553.  "1000 Gifts" and all God is teaching me through it.
554.  Memorizing God's word.
555.  Walking in His forgiveness and not guilt and condemnation.
556.  Not being rushed or in a hurry in Lowes and looking through all the seeds with the kids that we want to plant this year.
557.  The sound of rain.
558.  The smell of rain.
559.  A no makeup or get ready day.
560.  The warmth of clothes from the dryer.
561.  A restored relationship with my sister.
562.  Reading in "The Hole in the Gospel" some of the very things the Lord taught me in Guyana.  Really neat to read about those same things in a book.. . . the power of the great teacher. . . the Holy Spirit.
562.  Jon picking up dinner.
563.  Many, many talks about the Lord with Jon.
564.  How Jon loves me.
565.  Laughter. . . oh laughter.
566.  I love to laugh so much it deserves a double praise.
567.  Peace while in the midst of the storm, knowing all the while it may get even more turbulent.
568.  A sweet afternoon spent with my precious friend, Kim.
569.  Feet on the sofa.
570.  Transparency.
571.  Freedom.
572.  Chains falling off.
573.  Encouragement of girlfriends.
574.  Rejoicing with others.
575.  Mourning with others.
576.  Time flying.
577.  Time slowing down.
578.  My van is back from the body shop.  I'm so thankful to have Sally (Hanna named her) back.  She looks great!
579.  Watching Alec and his survival self in the yard.
580.  Hearing Alec play his guitar.

Catching Glimpses

Jon shared this quote with me.  I'm sure I'm going to butcher it somewhat, but it was something to the effect of  - sometimes the Lord will give you glimpses and show you the fruit of those you invest in. . . not too much though to ensure that you don't do what you do for the wrong reasons.  I'm sure that is cut up, broken up, butchered up, etc., but you get the point.

I've been working on this post for quite a while.  When I'd catch a glimpse, I'd type it out.  Here are some glimpses that God has shown me in how He is working in the heart of my children.

**For Valentines day, we gave our kids Chick-fil-A gift cards.  One day we had the "other" Hendrix girls with us and my girls asked if we could go and spend them.  Hanna told me she was going to use her gift card for KJ.  When I asked Maemae what kind of shake she wanted (I was going to pay for hers).  She said, "I already told Hanna I want a vanilla shake."  I looked at Hanna and said, "Were you going to buy Maemae one too?"  Hanna shook her head yes.  This took all the money on her gift card, and she wouldn't have any money to get herself a milkshake. Melted my heart into pieces.  (I bought Hanna a milkshake).  Her sweet, sacrificial love for others just warms my heart.  Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to catch that glimpse.

**During basketball practice all the girls were shooting baskets.  There weren't enough balls to go around, so Hanna went up to her teammate, gave her her ball, and kept walking.  She wasn't showing or announcing her good deed like, "Here you can have my ball."  She just gave quietly without wanting any praise (even a thank you) from anyone. Such humility.  Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to catch that glimpse. 

**Once a month our church takes communion.  My children know the importance of this, and this isn't some "grape juice and cracker" event.  In fact, we talk about taking communion in any unworthy manner and what that means.  After church that day Alec was clearly angry about something.  He told me he saw all of these little kids just taking communion like a snack and his friend beside him was coloring on a piece of paper. . . not taking this sacred sacrament serious at all.  Alec said he passed the cup because he knew he had sin in his heart. . . his anger over the way others treated it.    Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to catch that glimpse. 

**One day I overheard Alec talking about how salvation isn't about our works.  It's about humility.  I was so thankful that at such a young age he knows this.  Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to catch that glimpse.

**The other day Alec and I had a conversation about his future.  He is talking about private sector security (not like Mall Cop. . . I already asked him *grin*).  He was telling me they make about $80,000 a year.  He then said, "Mom, can you imagine me as a single guy making that much money.  I could live off $30,000 and give the rest for missions."  Thank you Lord for allowing me to catch that glimpse.

**There is this little girl at church who didn't have any friends.  In fact, when she was in school she would pay people not to bully her.  My sweet Ash befriended this little girl.  She just didn't say, "Hey, how are you?"  She actually is her friend!!! At different times different adults have approached me at church and commented to me about this.  I didn't tell Ash because I don't want her being this little girl's friend for the praise of man.  One day we picked her up to take her to a birthday party that they were both invited to.  Ashley talked to her in the sweetest voice.  It was such a precious moment.  Jon picked them up that night and took the girl back home.  He later commented to me about just how sweet Ashley was to her. . . a sincere sweet, not a "look at me" (which we've caught her doing before). Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to catch that glimpse.

**Ash spent all of money to buy each person in our family a Valentine's Day gift.  I offered to buy the things for her.  She wouldn't let me.  Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to catch that glimpse.  

**Same thing at Chick-fil-A as Hanna, Ash spent her V-day gift card on her friend, Maddie.  Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to catch that glimpse. 

**Ash made some money at a yard sale we recently had.  I saw her pull out her wallet to tithe at church.  Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to catch that glimpse. 

**Hanna was selling cake balls at the yard sale.  She kept bugging me about taking her to get more ingredients.  I was a little frustrated with all I had to do.  She said to me, "Mama I want to get more ingredients because I want to send the money I earn from my cake balls to you to Uganda to help people."  Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to catch that glimpse. 

**Ash and Hanna are currently collaborating together to save their money for a friend and buy her something special she herself has been saving for.  Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to catch that glimpse. 

**Just today Ash found out she wasn't invited to a birthday party with a girl she has been friends with since she was 4 or 5 years old.  She's not quite sure why.  The friend who told her of this said, "She said that you are mean to her."  This came as a shock to Ashley that her friend would say this.  As we were talking about it, I told Ash that I would get in touch her mom and just see if there was a problem or if she'd done something to hurt her friend in some way.  Ash told me, "No, Mama, it doesn't matter.  Because no matter how she treats me, I still need to treat her like Jesus would.  I'm going to buy her a present and give it to her next week."  I hugged my girl tight.  I know her heart is hurting, yet she still wants to be like Him.  I then told her I would buy the present.  She told me no, that she wanted to buy it.  Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to catch that glimpse.

What do Mrs. Wells, vanilla chai lattes, pow-wows, deleting a phone contact, and Scooby Doo all have in Common

Okay, if I gave you this clue and played a game of hangman with you. . . do you think you could guess what all of the above have in common?

Well, maybe not hangman, but I'll start out with some clues.

Mrs. Wells- I can still remember her face, vaguely her voice, definitely her classroom.  She taught me both Algebra and Trigonometry in high school.  She had the personality of a librarian (boring), but could teach Math like nobody's business.  Everyday she would go over our new work, problem after problem after problem.  We would be assigned our homework.  The next day she we would check our answers and go over every.single.problem everyone missed!  Although at times this was boring, and you'd think about certain people, "How in the world did they get that one wrong?", she really taught a girl who loves reading and history how to do Math, and I actually made As.  Let's fast forward to almost 20 years later (YIKES!), with my son having gone through pre-algebra 3, yes 3, times. . . I decided instead of letting a computer teach him, instead of throwing out my "I've learned my Math and paid my dues.  I'm not learning it again." "Remember, Alec, you have a working AND homeschooling mother.  I don't have the time most moms do."  Bless his heart, he's heard it all. So every.single.day Alec and I do math together, and I'm relearning pre-algebra.  I'm going to be a Math genius before this whole thing is over.  Actually I'm really enjoying our time together.  Somedays I'm frustrated, but most days we laugh and tease one another.  Since I only have a little over three years left with him, I'm sure I will look back on this time with fond memories.  So, the way I'm teaching him?  Just like Mrs. Wells taught me. . . except I hope I have a lot more personality that she did and my boobs don't look like torpedoes.

Vanilla Chai lattes - So Ash can no longer understand her Saxon math guy either.  Don't bet your life on thinking I believe this one iota, but she loves her mama like nobody's business and I know she will do anything for any time with me, so I caved.  Today, we were sitting down at the kitchen table with her math.  She and I both were frustrated with one another.  Actually I don't think math had anything to do with it.  However, I told her to let me fix her a Vanilla Chai latte. . . that would make both of us happy. . . and it did. . . until she spilled hers. . . and then, I smiled and we fixed her another one.  I told her a spill was due today because I was going to mop. Every.single.time I mop someone spills something.  I told her at least she did it BEFORE I mopped rather than later.  I hoped this lightened her moody mood.

Pow-wows. . . After the real estate client that I almost quit real estate totally over, I went in today and got my commission check.  My broker is the best.  He told me he thought he was going to have to have a pow-wow with me and tell me this is the first bad client I've ever had and probably ever will have. . . that I was a good agent and to not let this one bad experience stop me.  I had already gotten over the height of the emotion over the whole thing, but I was grateful Bill cared enough to be concerned about my feelings.

Deleting a phone contact. . . well, as I took the key to my client, Hanna said, "Mom, can I delete his name off your phone after this?"  To which I replied, "Sure baby.  I'll give you the honors."  I gave the key to his sweet wife, who, by the way, when I saw her, I hugged her neck, and she said, "Please don't hate us."  I don't.  I'm just glad this whole thing is over.  The kiddos and I got in the car, I pulled up his name, and gave Hanna my phone to which she deleted him.  I never have to answer his calls again!!!!!!!!!!  Man, I felt like a 20-pound boulder was lifted off my shoulders.  As I put my check in the mail today I told Jon, "Now that I'm getting paid, it was worth it.  Friday, it was not worth it.  Today, however, it is."

Scooby Doo. . . Hanna asked me today if when I had time if I would sit down and snuggle with her.  So my mopping still hasn't been done, but loving on Hanna has.  She wanted us to watch Scooby Doo.  It's the new ones.  I chuckled when Freddie talked about downloading aps to his smart phone. It's just not the same.  Not the same at all.

Okay, any guesses, as to what these all have in common?

My Monday.

Go ahead and say it, "She's such a dork."

I know.  I know.

Color Run

A few weeks ago Ash and I ran the Color Run with Lydia.  Lydia always finds these great races.  

It was Lydia, a WHOLE BUNCH of her friends, and Ash and I.  Nick is cracking me up in this picture. 

Ash and I decided to match and have white hats and blue glasses.

My sweet girl was so excited to be able to share in a race with me. . . without her siblings.  It made her feel extra special to do something with me that I enjoy.

And, since she is a chip off the old block, she happens to love running as much as her Mama.

This was after getting doused with some color.

The purple really got us good!

I love this picture of the two of us.

At the end of the race we all had color packets.  We then decided to have a color fight.  Since I'm the "mom" of the group I stuck with taking pictures.

Lydia, me and Ash

Miguel and Katie

Becca.

Group picture after the run.

Color FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'm trying to open up someone's color -probably Ash's.

Here Ash is doing a "surprise" attack on Lydia - or Ms. Lydia as I make my children call her.

Josh decided to defend his girl and get Ash back - hee!hee!

Colored Happy!

Here we are after we get back into the car.  Everyone kept telling me how white my teeth looked.  I guess it was b/c of all the color that was on my face.

When I got home it was so funny.  Cookie brushed up against my leg and got his own little taste of the Color Run!

The Power of a Cheese Grater

I've been working with this client with real estate for a few months.  He has been demanding, bossy, and just downright rude at times.  I have shown him grace and kindness. . . but would vent my frustration to Jon.  Friday came and it was time to close on his house.  I was so excited.  I'm grateful that he used me as his agent.  However, it has certainly been extremely difficult.

I spent all day in Atlanta trying to get this house closed.  I'll spare you all the boring details of a closing; however, funding has not been released.  We are waiting on one signature.  Yesterday evening I found out he has gotten a key to the house and there have been painters there all day and the carpet is torn apart.  This is NOT his house yet.  This is wrong, deceptive, and AGAINST THE LAW!!!!!!!!!!!

I head to Melissa's to get the lock box.  I'm clearly mad and short. . . not my usual high-pitched, "Hey Y'all" when I walked through the doors.  She and I talk outside.  She had to run inside for a quick potty break and was returning to hear me vent more.  Here comes my client. . . wanting to talk.  She had warned him I was angry and he really needed to let me cool off.  He didn't listen.

Once he raised his voice, mine raised. . . I can't remember the last time I have been so bold with someone.  You know that saying about redheads having tempers?  Normally I'm pretty mild.  However, it all came spewing forth.  When I left the house I was visibly shaking.  I hate confrontation.  I also hated the way I acted. I definitely let my emotions get the best of me.

I get home around 9:00 last night, and I'm just in tears. . . sobbing, crying tears.  I hate for my kids to see me like this, so I sat on my front porch in the dead of the night and just cried and prayed. . . bore my heart before the Lord.

I didn't sleep well last night.  I woke up and just felt so very melancholy.  I praise God that I'm not really a person who has "sad" days.  However, today has been one of those days.  In fact, there were many more tears today.  I'm just so frustrated, discouraged, hate what is happening. . . all of the above, you name it.  I kept trying to snap out of it. . . trying to find things to be grateful for. . . nothing was working.  I went for a run.  I was so emotionally exhausted that I couldn't even finish my run.  I ended up walking.  I couldn't believe all of this has taken that much of a toll on me.

After Jon left to go work I decided to take a cat nap.  My sweet Shelby was having a surprise 16th birthday and her mom was so sweet to include my girls and I in this big day for Shelby.  The kids woke me up and we headed to the party.  I felt better. . . still a little melancholy, but I had a tiny, tiny little bit of a pep in my step.

Well, it got to the time she opened her gifts.  I got her a cheese grater, cheese, and a bracelet from Uganda. Cheese grater and cheese?  What a gift?  Well it was here at my house she grated cheese for the very first time.  I wish I could have captured the look on her sweet face as she did this.  She was so proud of herself.    Anyhoo. . . she looks into the bag, hasn't read the card, and she knew immediately.  She said, "Ms. Michele."  I BUSTED out laughing with my big loud, obnoxious laugh.  I may have even snorted.  We tell everyone at the party the story.  I was probably the only one laughing. . . not very sure because my laughter had taken such control of me.  It's like the girl who is laughing at her own joke. . . pretty pathetic.

That is what did it.  That is what made me feel like myself. . . situation still remains. . . however, after my belly laugh it all returned. . . my pep in my step, my pop in my hop, and my gig in my giggle. . . oh, laughter truly is the BEST medicine.

526.  Making up with Jon.
527.  The ability to cry. . . even if it is hard to stop.
528.  The loyalty of Scott and Melissa.
529.  The coming to my defense of my precious husband.
530.  The sweetness of my kids.
531.  My broker's very kind words.
532.  Sweet apology from Crystal.
533.  My fourth child, Shelby. . . so very excited to be apart of her special day.
534.  Inside jokes and cheese graters.
535.  Not being so serious that I can obnoxiously laugh, give a silly gift, and it to change my ENTIRE day.
536.  Being able to laugh at my own jokes.
537.  Encouraging text from Lydia.
538.  Sweet text from Becky.
539.  Leslie's "I love you message" on facebook.  The girl truly is my 4th sister.  She knows all our family junk and all our skeletons and still loves us just the same.
540.  Forgiveness.

Random Ramblings

Just a little random stuff in case you're bored to tears and have nothing else to read.

While we have been a one-shower family for quite a while, while Jon redoes our master bedroom, it has been quite the adjustment.  We're so used to it now, it's really no big deal.  However, NOW we have gone from a 3 toilet family to a 2 toilet family.  Jon has taken the toilet out of master bath to lay tile down.  It's funny b/c the first thing I do when I turn off my alarm in the morning (remember it sits in teh bathroom b/c otherwise I'd snooze it to death) is use the bathroom.  The first few mornings I went to sit and then remembered . . . oops, no toilet.  Made me giggle and smile and not much does that at 4:00 a.m.

Lydia and I were supposed to run a half marathon this Saturday.  However, she's messed up her calf.  She's so sweet.  She told me she would go with me (2-1/2 hours away) to support me.  I told her she was more than worth getting up at 3:00 a.m. for, but getting up that early for ME. . . not.worth.it. (we were going to have to leave at 3:30).  Oh well, at least we got the training in, and at least the money went to a good cause.

Whiel I have washed and dried laundry the last two weeks, NONE. . . not even a pair of underwear, have gotten folded.  It is all in my living room. . . hoping to get to it maybe tonight or not. . . we'll see.

James (my step dad) called me the other night.  He's so sweet and thoughtful.  He was riding all the kiddos on the golfcart when we left Sunday.  We didn't get to tell him bye.  He was calling to tell us he loved us.  Although as a kid I didn't like having a stepdad and desperately wanted my mom and dad to get back together. . . even begging God telling Him I'd give up all my Christmases for the rest of my life (I'm serious. . . I did this MANY MANY times). . .as an adult I realized God just blessed me with 2 daddies, and I'm grateful for both of them.

I'm madly in love with my husband right now.  Just thought you should know that.

Gigi is just precious.  I can't tell you how many times she loves on us wtih food.  She cooks all the time for us.  They will be in SSI for a few weeks while my SIL has surgery.  She came by yesterday and asked us over for dinner tonight and then she said in a sad voice, "Because we won't see y'all for a few weeks."  I'm so glad she loves us and misses us when they are away. 

My Dad has actually been very sweet as well.  We were talking about taxes the other day and I was telling him how much we owe.  He called me back a few hours later and offered tax help advice and even money if we needed it.  A dear lady told me one time to never, ever, never stop praying.  My Papa always said, "As long as there is breath in the body, there is hope."  Praying my dad will not breathe his last breath until he comes to Christ through faith AND repentance.

Life has been crazy, crazy busy . . . more than normal.  It makes normal life look lazy compared to how busy we've been.  I'm trying to be thankful and keep a good perspective.  Sometimes I fail. . . those are the days I cling most to His grace.

I've been staying at home on Wednesday nights from church.  I have a lot of reading that I need to do to prepare for an upcoming event.  It's been really nice to study either God's word or a book written in reference to His word for 1-1/2 hours without being rushed or interuptted.  I've enjoyed the downtime.

The kids are growing ever so fast.  Sometimes my heart is sad if I reflect on it too much.  I'm just trying to soak them up as much as possible before they fly the coop.  I'm ever so grateful to get up at 4:00 a.m. and be able to work at home and homeschool them.  Would I do it over again? Go without sleep?  Deal with the grumpies? The sibling rivalry? The not having much time to myself?  The learning to juggle work and life of a stay-at-home/homeschooling mom?  You betcha!!!!!! You don't have to ask me twice. 

I'm loving running with Becky.  I miss Ang running with us.  Becky has become such a dear friend to me.  We often joke and say running together is better than having lunch together b/c we get to talk, laugh, cut up, share our hearts AND burn calories!!!!!  It's so funny, us long-distance runners. . . we are so very alike in oh so many ways and struggle with some of the same monsters.  Another thing, Becky (being homeschooled all her life) really, really helps me be a better mom.  She is just a tremendous blessing to me. 

You hear all the horrible stuff about having a teenager in the house.  Don't believe a word of it!! Alec is a joy and a delight.  Now ages 8-11 I thought we were going to kill one another, but his teen years have been wonderful.  He's so responsible, so self motivated, and has become much more tender than he used to be.  I'm so proud of him, and I love seeing how God is using him and will use him.  Today he had discipleship with Marty.  He always comes home telling me all that he's learned.  I'm so grateful for Marty and how he is investing in Alec.

Okay, my fingers are tired and I'm sure you're even more bored than when you started this. 

Happy Thursday! 

Great is Thy Faithfulness

My head was buried into his chest. . . eyes closed. . . tears rolling down my cheeks. His strong arms were around me. My voice full of fear and worry asking him all the "What Ifs". His voice was tender, gentle, reassuring and strong, "We don't need to worry about how this looks in the eyes of the world. That is just pride. Our future is brighter than ever. Spiritually, we are at a better place than we've ever been."

I know all these things. . . I just needed reassurance. This was Saturday as I wept in my sweet husband's arm.

God has always, always been so very faithful.

A little less than two years ago our house payment was paid. Jon had sent out over 100 resumes. There was very little money in the bank. . . certainly not enough to make our house payment the next month. God provided Jon with really the best corporate job he has ever had. . . right at the last minute. Two days before Jon got his job someone showed up at my door and gave me a card. I opened it up and someone had anonymously given us $1000.00. To this day, we have no idea who it was. . . just someone being the hands of Jesus.

We still depend on our business money though to meet our financial obligations. The business was low. Here we are at the brink again. Jon sells his truck. Again, God's provision. . . right at the last minute.

It seems like we go through the business money quickly. Unfortunately, we need my income, Jon's full-time income, and the business money. When Jon was out of a job for a year and the real estate market crashed, it really set us back. Some of our poor financial decisions doesn't help out either. Fast forward several months (not sure of the time frame). . . again, business money is low. . . this is becoming a familiar pattern. Jon and Greg put the house they had been working on for months on the market. I put it on there on a Friday. By Tuesday we had an offer. By Thursday we had a contract. Once again, God has remained ever so faithful.

You'd think by this time my faith would be strong as a giant. I waiver. My emotions get the best of me and I cave into fear. This was me Saturday.

Fast forward to now. . . here we are yet again. . . however, this time. . . no house on the market. We have 3 that need to be, but none are close. As I drove to my sister's house yesterday my prayer was very simple, "Lord, I don't even know what to pray. We don't know what to do, but we look to You. Please provide a way. . . a way where You receive all the glory and honor. "

Jon calls me about 3:00 that afternoon. Normally with his job they do their reviews/assessments during the time of their anniversary. For Jon, that would be July. This year, however, his job decided to do them in April (which we had no idea). Jon's boss told him the most raise his job would allow this year was 4%. However, his boss went to bat for him and gave him a 5-1/2%. They had to rigamaroo (not his bosses' words, but mine) things around a bit to get around the 4% cap, but they wanted Jon to be rewarded for his hard work. Last year at his review his boss told him he'd never worked with anyone who had as much integrity as Jon. (Jon would not want me saying this, but I'm so proud of him). Yet, again, God has been ever faithful.

Although I am as stubborn and faithless as an Israelite wandering through the dessert, I'm so thankful for these times. Without these times, we would never see just how much God really does provide in a land of self-sufficiency and abundance (I'm talking United States here). I'm thankful for how we have to depend on God to help us meet our obligations. . . not because we're "super spiritual" (I say that because I don't want anyone to ever think that Jon and I think we have it all figured out. . . b/c we both are very far from that) but simply because we have to. I'm so thankful God loves us so much to allow these things to invade our lives. . . situations where He shows His faithfulness, His love for us, and it is all for His glory. . . that He is ever so faithful. . . even when we waiver, even when our faith is shaky, even when we cave to fear.

With a thankful heart . . . praise His glorious name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April Fools

Oh how I love tricking my kids on April Fools. This year, though, since it was on a Sunday, I got to trick others as well.

The trick this year?

Fake donuts. Yes, the same ones Jenn. B. got me and Faith with last year. I woke up and made my fake donuts. . . equal parts flour and salt, roll them into balls, a little bit of oil and a little more flour - presto!

Lydia and I ran that morning so on the way home I stopped by Dunkin Donuts and got a box of munchkins. I then dumped the good stuff out for the fake stuff.

I walked in the house and told Jon I'd gotten some donuts. Bless his heart, he's been deprived of food since he had his wisdom teeth out on Friday. He was ready to tear into them.

Check out his expression.

Made us both laugh so hard.
Next, I got the girls.
Hook, line, and sinker.


They were sooooo funny.

Alec snuck downstairs before I could catch him with the camera. But, another victim of the donuts. . .

The first Sunday of every month we serve the youth breakfast. This was perfect. I told our youth pastor was I was up to. Do you know how many belly laughs I got seeing those kids taste the fake donuts. Oh, it was so good. SO!MUCH!FUN!

Digging

In the past two weeks or so I've practically dug through 15 years of memories. . . oh how my heart is full. . . sometimes a little sad.

As I've seen pictures of me and my dad, I've remembered a girl who desperately longed for her Daddy's approval. . . always seeking to win his heart, praying for 20 years for God to save his soul.

I've seen pictures of my precious Papa who I wish was still here with me.

I've come across 2 young pups on a cruise celebrating 5 years of marriage.

I've seen a hair piece Ash used to carry around, hats she wore when we had to shave her head.

I've seen Alec's silky blanket he loved to hold onto (he still has a silky pillow that he keeps in his bed at night. . .shhh!!!)

Oh the books. . . books galore. . .lots unread. . . made me wonder what I was thinking when I bought them. . . a common thread was . . . JOY.

I've seen pictures of a happy man who once had his mind intact. My heart broke a little as I remembered my precious father-in-law for who he was/is.

I've seen pictures of Disney. . . one at Hoop-dee-doo Review when I got pulled up on stage and got all dressed up as a can-can girl. Good, fun times. Our friends, the Brisendines, were with us that trip. I remember dishing out strawberry shortening for my family and then all of the sudden one of the stars from the show came and grabbed me and told me "to come on, it would be fun. My kids would love it." He was right :)

I've seen a much, much younger me. . . would I go back and trade my forehead lines for how I've grown in the Lord ----- no way. Give me my forehead lines and my growth in Him any day.

I've come across countless prayer journals. I'm so glad I take the time to do that. Not easy when you live at the pace of 0 to 90 as soon as your alarm goes off. . . but thankful. Some of the monsters I still battle with . . . thankfully not as much. . . but they still rare their ugly heads.

One thing made me chuckle. . . I came across a letter to President George Bush (there goes my whole "think I can change the world" mindset **grin**) I had written to encourage him. I guess I never sent it. . . always such good intentions. . .but that whole follow through thing gets me every time.

I came across countless and countless Bible studies. Oh how thankful I am to the Lord for saving me and keeping me.

I came across a Joy Jar from an old friend. I read every.single.paper. I think there were at least 30. Made my heart smile big . . . a very sweet and thoughtful gift.

I came across when my friends threw me a surprise party for my 30th. They had a "who knew Michele the best" questionnaire. What a sweet memory. Jon cleaned the house ferouciously that day. He had given me that as a Christmas present. I took the kids to meet my mom. When I pulled up in the driveway Jon met me outside. He said he had something to show me inside. I asked him did he get me a new comforter (I'd been wanting a new one for our bed). We walked inside and "SURPRISE" . . .everyone jumped out.

I came across pictures of sweet Alec, his boyish hair and chubby cheeks. Now, when I look up at him, I see a young man.

In my digging, as I remembered and remembered, it made me so thankful for this blog. . . made me want to jot down something every day . . .even if it goes like this:

Woke up - such a blessing I take for granted way too much

Hearing my girls tell me they love me out of the blue. - Both did that today and at separate times.

Having Alec apologize to me this afternoon with a hug (rare for him) for being a grouch this morning.

Morning "I love you" texts.

Lunch with Granddaddy.

Walmart with kids and Granddaddy.

Home for a little bit to work on a real estate contract.

Watching the girls on the hammock . . . wishing I had my camera to capture what my eyes beheld.

Seeing my boy cut both our yard and Gigi and Granddaddy's yard today.

Talking to my mama in the morning.

Texting my friends.

Talking to BOTH Melissa and Kristen the same day.

Cooking spaghetti.

Watching Biggest Loser.

Trip down memory lane.

Getting ready for yard sale.

Hugs from Jon.

More hugs from Jon.

Seeing Hanna ride her bike through the yard. Love watching her hair fly in the wind.

So, so, so much stuff to part with. Reminding myself I am only a pilgrim here.

Missing days when kiddos were smaller.
Grateful for the fun and enjoyment and JOY I have with them now. I'm in such a different place. Oh to have the wisdom in my 20s that I have in my 30s. I'm hoping it will only get deeper and better as my forehead lines get deeper too.

Things Unseen

Wednesday night on the way to church I hit a deer. . . I mean this was like deer parts flying everywhere kind of hit. . . the kind that dents your hood all up and eventually causes your van to stop working.

The kids were so sweet. Ash was concerned about me. Hanna (my animal lover) was sobbing. Alec was helping me console Hanna. They really were all very supportive and loving of one another. It's so nice to see those rare, yet genuine, moments.

Thursday night Gigi came to our house and fixed dinner for us (Yes, she is that precious. . . yes, she cooks for us on Tuesdays, and yes we had dinner at her house on Monday night too). As we were talking about the wreck I was telling her how bad it could have been. I was on a busy road. If there would have been another car in the lane where I swerved to miss the deer . . . it could have been disastrous. Neither of our air bags went off and Ash was in the front seat. She could have gotten seriously harmed. The hit didn't cause me to lose control of the van. I could really go on and on at all the things that could have happened.

She told me something very powerful. . . something I'd never really thought of before. . . that she often thanks God for protecting her and those she loves for the things unseen. I've since started thanking God for those things.. . . the unseen things. . . the things that could have been, but weren't.

This week as I was studying the curriculum I will be teaching in Uganda I learned that we should ask the Lord to "declare us innocent from hidden faults." (Psalm 19:12) Hidden faults. . . I know I have many. I constantly tell people when they are struggling with a particular sin in their life "Well, at least you know. Knowing is huge." But what about the sin in our lives we don't see?the sin we close a blind eye to? the sin maybe others see in us, but we ourselves don't? We are to ask God to declare us innocent from hidden faults. Wow!

Tuesdays Thankslivings

491. Walk to Gigi and Grandaddy's last night.

492. Discovering they had company. So very thankful Gigi is opening her home to hospitality again. She delights in doing this so much.

493. Watching Cookie "air" pee on every mailbox.

494. Walking hand-in-hand with my hubby.

495. The beauty of spring - azaleas and dogwoods galore.

496. Alec's creative mind and him making a camp stove out of aluminum cans.

497. Hearing Ash make beautiful music with the piano.

498. Having Jon home with us and the "Fab 5" being complete.

499. 12-mile run with Becky.

500. The conversation Becky and I had. Made us both want to keep running.

501. 2-mile run with Ash.

502. Talking with Ash and this, that, the other, and whatever.

503. Homemade caramel popcorn.

504. Hanna asking me to come and cuddle with her several times throughout the day.

505. Laughter.

506. Game of "Family Fun" around the table after dinner.

507. Jon being such a fun dad and making up a game as we walked home.

508. Sound of the birds chirping.

509. Peace.

510. Grin on my face throughout the day just simply because I rejoice in Him for I trust Him. May even the mere expression on my face reflect His glory.

511. Comfy, cozy bed.

512. Jon holding my hand at night as we drift off to sleep right after the sun sets.

513. For "I'm sorry" from my children.

514. For a little time with Jon before he headed off to work on a house.

515. For Alec who makes me laugh and who "gets" me.

516. For love and hugs from my kiddos when they know I'm stressed to the max.

517. For Gigi fixing us dinner tonight - chicken casserole and hummingbird cake.

518. For Tuesday's with Granddaddy.

519. For a littel time to work this afternoon, freeing up my morning.

520. For all the days that don't turn out the way I want them to.

521. For the days and times I cry out to the Lord with a heart of desperation.

522. For Jesus being not just enough, but EVERYTHING.

523. For learning how to say No and learning my limits. . . not having to fit a gazillion things into one day.

524. For encouraging emails, cards, and phone calls from dear friends.

525. For the sounds of the voices of those I hold dear.