Griswold Momemts

There are several "Griswold Moments" Jon and I had while in Sodom and Gomorrah. I'm so thankful I have a husband as fun as Jon to share life's moments with . . . the good, bad, and ugly. . . and oh yeah, i should probably throw embarrassing in there somewhere. Thankfully, neither Jon nor I take ourselves too seriously. If we did, we'd be a in heap of trouble.

***We decided to rent a car for a few days and I could, of course, make this story really long. So, I'll try for the short version. Long story-short. We were told it would be $10 a day (or something like that to rent the car). Can you tell we've never done this before? We were stoked! Get to the rent-a-car place, and they tell us something about having insurance. They scare you to death and act like if you get a scratch on the car you're going to have to put your children up for random. Jon asked how much? $23. Fine and good. He tells us our final total. . . something in the ballpark range of $150 (maybe more or less, my memory fails me). Jon got a tad bit upset. I was afraid we were about to have a repeat of a time share episode (I'll have to share this later). I braced myself. Thankfully it wasn't. We just said never mind. So, we proceeded to another kiosk of rent-a-cars. Basically the same thing happened with the whole insurance thing. They apparently meant $23 a day and not for the entire time you rent a car. While Jon and I were trying to decide what we were going to do, I told him, "I bet if you don't get the insurance, they come to your hotel (they do get the name of where you're staying), find the car, and beat it in with a hammer." I was delirious and excessively giggly. . . I was just kiddin'. We humbled ourselves and went back to the 1st rent-a-car place. While redoing all of the stinkin' paperwork Jon tells the man, "My wife said. . . . and he basically repeated what I'd said about them beating the car in." He was the sweetest Mexican man and said with a giggle and maybe a snort (just kiddin' about the snort). "No, no, that only happens in the movies." Doggonit Jon!!! I didn't know he was going to tell of my ugliness :)


***So the next evening after renting the car we go to the parking deck to go and use the car. We went to the left of the deck. . . NO CAR!!!! Then we went to the right of the deck . . . NO CAR!!!!We were on the verge of a slight freak out. . . seriously. I was thinking it'd be just like the Lord to humble us after I was playfully ugly about the rent-a-car folks. Jon and I were booking it across the parking lot, anxiously trying to find the car. Great! Hope the insurance covered a stolen car. Guess what? We were in the wrong parking deck!!!!!!!! Clarke Griswold would be ever so proud!



***When we sent to the strip we decided to park at the Bellagio. We went around the deck 1 time, then another. We saw a mustang parked like it was waiting for someone, not parked in one of the rows. Jon then said, "Are we going around and around the same deck?" Me: "No baby, there was a mustang parked there and it's not there anymore. Well, after about 4 more times we realized we WERE circling the same deck over and over and over again. Every parking deck Jon and I have been on was the circular kind. We'd never been on one where you have to exit the deck to get to the neck one.


***On the strip I was already slightly freaked out about all that my eyes were seeing. Also, all that my spirit was feeling. . . such darkness and blatant sin. Anyone can be on the streets there, homeless, musicians, Disney characters, human statutes, WHOever and WHATtever. There were these people with 2 snakes wrapped around their necks. I clung to Jon tightly and said in my louder than normal voice, "Snakes, do you see those snakes? Those people have snakes on them?" Well, right beside them was this man with a baby tiger beside him, "Jon, Jon, do you see that? He has a baby tiger out here? Look at that!!! Oh.my.goodness.!!!!" I was actually freaking out!

Jon replied, "Babe, that's a stuffed animal."

Those DANG books

Okay, so I get to the airport, and before I can get in the door this man comes to get me to weigh my baggage (no wait). That bad boy weighed 63 lbs. He then informed me that for every bag over 50 lb Delta charges an ADDITIONAL $90. Now, I'd already paid $23 for this bag. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't go back to my car and empty some stuff out of it; I would miss my flight. I certainly couldn't throw my things in the trash. I would just have to suck up the $90 that I don't have. Yikes!!!

I had to go inside and take care of the charge in there. I then remembered my behemoth of a purse. "I know," I thought, "I'll take all my books and put them all in my purse. Cha-Ching, this has to work. My Bible feels like it weighs 10 lbs anyway."

I go to weigh my bag again. This time it was with a lady. Baggage weighed 54 lbs. Shoot a flying goose!!!!!! I'm going to have to pay $90 all for 4 lbs. The lady saw the look of exasperation and the "my hubby is going to kill me when he finds out" look all over my face. She said, "Girl, you don't want to pay $90. Let's open that bag up. Take out some jeans."

So here I am just a few feet from where Ash threw up on Friday, opening my bag pulling out jeans. E-M-B-A-R-R-A-S-S-I-N-G!!!!!!!

Sheew, down to 51 lbs.

"Girl, let's take out some shoes."

I'm pulling fast because I really am mortified at the Griswold in me (Remember, National Lampoons & Vegas Vacation????).

I took out 2 shoes . . . and to top it all off they didn't even match!!!!!!! Typical. . . just plain ol' TYPICAL.

With the help of my new friend, "T" (I can't remember her full name. It was hard to pronounce), she and I scored!!!! Whoo Hoo! 50 lb baby and no $90 fee.

However, I did have just a small problem. My behemoth purse is packed to almost overflowing with about 10-15 lbs of books (I'd already had a few in there), and I have 3 pair of jeans and 2 mismatched shoes to carry on, plus my laptop bag. I asked my new friend, "What it the world am I going to do with all of this stuff? They're not going to let me carry this on to the plane."

"Girl, go to one of those shops and get a bag."

Awesome idea, T.

So, of course, I headed to the shoo-shooish, froo-frooish shop (without thinking) asking her if I could just have a bag.

"Mam, you need to go to where they have the snacks just down the hall to the right. We don't have any bags."

Great, good one, Michele.

I'm so afrid at this point I'm going to miss my flight. I was already pushing it when I got to the airport. Again, that's just typical for me.

I found a store that sold snacks, books, etc. and found a bag on clearance for $6.99. SCORE!! Sure does beat $90.

Okay, I can relax.

Get past security, grab something to eat to eat on the plane, standing in line to board the plane, lady takes my ticket and then says to me.

"You have too many bags (purse, new bag, and laptop). You will have to fit 2 of your bags into one."

YOU'VE.GOT.TO.BE.KIDDING.ME.!!!!!!!!!!

I then proceeded to stick behemoth purse into my new red bag. I couldn't close the thing, and it was spewing forth every book, paper, lip gloss, pen, etc. from my purse. But hey, it worked, she let me through!!!