On my list to do today was to paint my bedroom, clean downstairs, cook lunch and dinner, take Alec to his grass cutting job, update my prayer journal, work (which is about 4-5 hours of my day), go by a house and leave out a key, go to Lowes, home school the children, vacuum the upstairs, review my scripture memory.
I got some of these things done. However, a few weeks back I was stressed to the max. The people I love most are the ones who suffer the most from this. Hurry here, hurry there. Meet this person's expectations. Meet that person's expectations. I was to the point of tears. Medical Transcription AND real estate, commitments here, there, and yonder. Alec said something to me that is changing my life. "Jesus had 3 years to change the world. He never was in a hurry. He always took time for others. He always took time to get alone with His Father." Wow. It was so profound (something he learned in discipleship with Marty). . . that in my hurried stressed mess I stopped cold and just stared. I looked at my precious son. . . my boy who is becoming a young man and said, "THAT is powerful."
Along with that I'm reading, "1000 Gifts" although I've currently misplaced it and have been a little freaked out, but I know God will have me find it when He wants me to. I'm still digesting all that I'm learning. I'm a self-motivated, love to get things accomplished girl. Read a few of posts and it won't take long to figure that out. I've often confessed my struggles with myself in those areas.
I was sitting with Melissa yesterday and we were talking. We were talking about my Grandmother's birthday party on Saturday. I really wanted to start my garden on Saturday. I was telling her the me a year ago would have worked Saturday morning, run 4-5 miles, started my garden, got ready, wore heels, drove an hour, go to Grandmama's party with bells on, get home, return to my garden, cook dinner, then retire for the night.
The girl God is transforming me into . . . the girl who is attempting (although there are many days when I fail) to live FULLY in the moment. . . this girl on Saturday will go and celebrate her Grandmother's birthday, living each moment fully. . . from the time I wake until the time I sleep. . . that kind of day can't include 400 things to do, but can include 400 things to praise Him for. . . It's really hard to praise and live fully in the moment when you are rushing from this activity to that, from 1. to 2. to 3. on the "to do" list.
Sure, I won't get as much accomplished. But the feeling of joy and peace I have living a life of praise, being fully in the moment, is a priceless treasure no amount of accomplishment can ever give me.
541. Eating Cool Whip out of the tub with Hanna.
542. Listening with my ears, my mind, my eyes, and my heart to the four I hold the dearest to my heart.
543. The smell of grass being cut.
544. A hard working young man.
545. Giving myself grace to sit on the couch and rest and read (a treat and a rarity).
546. Long talks on the phone with my hubby.
547. An affectionate husband who loves to cuddle.
548. The smell of white T-shirts.
549. Ashley who tells every.single.detail of a story no matter how big or how little - just like her Mama.
550. Hanna telling me she wished I was going to be at VBS this year.
551. Hanna expressing her heart over me going to Uganda. I'm so glad she is telling me her feelings. She normally keeps them bottled up.
552. "The Hole in the Gospel" and all God is teaching me through it.
553. "1000 Gifts" and all God is teaching me through it.
554. Memorizing God's word.
555. Walking in His forgiveness and not guilt and condemnation.
556. Not being rushed or in a hurry in Lowes and looking through all the seeds with the kids that we want to plant this year.
557. The sound of rain.
558. The smell of rain.
559. A no makeup or get ready day.
560. The warmth of clothes from the dryer.
561. A restored relationship with my sister.
562. Reading in "The Hole in the Gospel" some of the very things the Lord taught me in Guyana. Really neat to read about those same things in a book.. . . the power of the great teacher. . . the Holy Spirit.
562. Jon picking up dinner.
563. Many, many talks about the Lord with Jon.
564. How Jon loves me.
565. Laughter. . . oh laughter.
566. I love to laugh so much it deserves a double praise.
567. Peace while in the midst of the storm, knowing all the while it may get even more turbulent.
568. A sweet afternoon spent with my precious friend, Kim.
569. Feet on the sofa.
570. Transparency.
571. Freedom.
572. Chains falling off.
573. Encouragement of girlfriends.
574. Rejoicing with others.
575. Mourning with others.
576. Time flying.
577. Time slowing down.
578. My van is back from the body shop. I'm so thankful to have Sally (Hanna named her) back. She looks great!
579. Watching Alec and his survival self in the yard.
580. Hearing Alec play his guitar.
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