How We Live

Isn't it funny how we try to cover up how we really are? After all, if you were coming to dinner/lunch at my house. . . I doubt it would look like this. . .

I would have it as nice as I get it. . . certainly not perfect, but at least in a place where you feel at ease and at comfort.

Sometimes don't we do that in our spiritual lives as well? We want to smile our smiles, nod our heads at everything the pastor says? Act all "spiritual" and "good" when the truth is . . . we're not. . . we want to put people at ease and comfort. . . not say anything too revealing. . . not speak what is truly on our hearts, but smile and nod and maybe throw in a "praise Jesus" here and there. Is it because the church is so judgmental that we're afraid of being rejected? Is it because we're too ashamed? Is it because we don't want to offend anyone?

In Romans 2 Paul is talking to the Jews and he's saying, "You who teach, do you not teach yourselves? You who preach that you should not steal, do you steal? You who says one most not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples?"

As a faith family our church has been going through a money series, both Sunday School and Pastor David. Todd teaches the students and then we break into groups for questions.

Today we talked about greed.

I was nervous, more nervous than usual. My hand was shaky. My voice was quivering. I could not stand before these girls and tell them not to be greedy, not to be selfish with their money. I had to confess my own guilt . . . my own sin. . . my own selfish pursuit of the American dream. I would not even stand before them as I normally do when I teach. I had to sit down . . . to lower myself. I've been deceived and I have fallen hook, line, and sinker. I take all the blame. I desire nothing less than God's wrath.

I've spent money on yet another pair of blue jeans when 5 pair already hang in my closet. I bought another pair of shoes because those are the ones that are "in" this season. I live in a 3300 square foot home in the nicest neighborhood in my town. And really my list could go on, and on, and on. . . . I stand convicted.

Yet, there are mothers in the world that are giving up their children because they don't have enough food to produce breast milk. There are mothers in the world selling their children for a meal. They are so hungry they are delusional. There are children starving to death. There are mothers washing their pots and pans in sewage waste (I've personally seen this with my very own eyes and at times wish I could stop seeing it. . . but many, many more times I'm so thankful that NOW I know). There are people who need to hear of a Savior who took on God's wrath for their sin. There are unreached people groups who have never heard the Gospel. There are brothers and sisters in Christ being persecuted throughout the world because of their faith. There are little girls who are being prostituted out in order to provide a way of living for the family. And really, the list could go on and on and on . . .

But, I have sat here looking all pretty in my big beautiful home, inviting my friends and family to come in and enjoy.

All I could do was pour out my heart to these girls. Tell them where Jon and are I. Tell them where we've been. Tell them where we're going. Tell them of how God has lavished His grace on us, yet again and again and again. . . providing a way out. . . a way out we don't deserve. Oh how I truly, from the very deepest depths of my soul, praise Him for providing a way. . .