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That's exactly how I feel about our life right now. Nevermore in Jon and I's married life have we ever felt like we were just wondering. . . with no direction. . . no guidance .. . no clue to how this thing is going to turn out.

Last week he and I were very excited. About 1-1/2 months ago a friend of his had offered him a job. Jon was hesitant. . . first, because he didn't want their friendship affected in a negative way (often times business and friendships don't mix). . . second, because he was really hoping to get a teaching job. Over the course of the last month and a half he and I have been praying about it. Well last week Jon told his friend he'd take that job if it was still available. . . it wasn't!!! Shoot! Until Tuesday. . . on Tuesday a guy walked into his office and quit. We just knew that was God.

Although this was not the ideal job. . . we didn't care. Jon just needs a job. This came at teh perfect time, as we have 1-1/2 months worth of salary left in our business. On Wednesday I got an email from a friend of mine who is a vice principal at a school telling me she was sorry about Jon, but they've been put on a hiring freeze for all TAPP applicants.

Jon and I just took this as another sign that God must want him to work for our friend. We both started dreaming about having a steady income once again. Everyone who is self employed knows it is either feast or famine. . . we've been okay up to this point. . . but we're getting on teh brink of famine here.

On Monday Jon's friend told him his boss wouldn't let him do anymore hiring. We were both just crushed. . . so very thankful for our friend, yet still crushed.

So, here we are again. Jon just paid himself for the 2nd part of May. We literally have 1 month's salary in the bank. Even if I worked 40-50 hours a week with my job, I wouldn't make enough to support our household. On top of that, I made some mistakes with an account I was on. . . my boss had to take me off of it. Honestly, at the time I was kind of glad. It was a very demanding account and it really stresed me out. However, this morning I have a total of 70 lines. I've bascially gone from 1200 lines a day to 70 lines (I'm paid by the line).

Jon is applying for jobs all over our state . . . everything from a car salesman to a cable technician to a commercial/consumer credit analyst. He's taken a test for a bank examiner with our state (which he passed with flying colors). He has his bachelor's degree in finance and has a wide range of experience in both consumer and commercial credit. He also has project management experience. I would be devastated if we had to move. . . but we've gotta do what we've gotta do.

He does have a house that is about to go on the market (hopefully). In July/August we have a house that we are leasing that should be purchased. Although our profit on this house isn't very much we put a good bit of our own money in it, so we should get a good bit of money when it closes. We're also going to probably put our house on the market. We got it at such a good deal, if it were to sell, we would make a pretty good profit.

So, here we are. I have NO idea what God is up to. I have NO idea in what direction we are heading. I have precious friends and family who are praying for us, which I am forever grateful for. Last night Jon came home for working on his house. I could tell he is just very heavy. This is not like him. He is normally very easygoing and "happy go lucky".

I keep reminding myself of how God provided the manna for the Israelites daily. He didn't "stock their accounts up". God has shown and proven Himself faithful to our family over the years, and I know He will this time. Now, how His faithfulness will come, I have absolutely NO idea, but I know that it will.

I can't wait to see how this story unfolds. . . Meanwhile, we are trusting, thanking, and loving our LORD!!!