?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

That's exactly how I feel about our life right now. Nevermore in Jon and I's married life have we ever felt like we were just wondering. . . with no direction. . . no guidance .. . no clue to how this thing is going to turn out.

Last week he and I were very excited. About 1-1/2 months ago a friend of his had offered him a job. Jon was hesitant. . . first, because he didn't want their friendship affected in a negative way (often times business and friendships don't mix). . . second, because he was really hoping to get a teaching job. Over the course of the last month and a half he and I have been praying about it. Well last week Jon told his friend he'd take that job if it was still available. . . it wasn't!!! Shoot! Until Tuesday. . . on Tuesday a guy walked into his office and quit. We just knew that was God.

Although this was not the ideal job. . . we didn't care. Jon just needs a job. This came at teh perfect time, as we have 1-1/2 months worth of salary left in our business. On Wednesday I got an email from a friend of mine who is a vice principal at a school telling me she was sorry about Jon, but they've been put on a hiring freeze for all TAPP applicants.

Jon and I just took this as another sign that God must want him to work for our friend. We both started dreaming about having a steady income once again. Everyone who is self employed knows it is either feast or famine. . . we've been okay up to this point. . . but we're getting on teh brink of famine here.

On Monday Jon's friend told him his boss wouldn't let him do anymore hiring. We were both just crushed. . . so very thankful for our friend, yet still crushed.

So, here we are again. Jon just paid himself for the 2nd part of May. We literally have 1 month's salary in the bank. Even if I worked 40-50 hours a week with my job, I wouldn't make enough to support our household. On top of that, I made some mistakes with an account I was on. . . my boss had to take me off of it. Honestly, at the time I was kind of glad. It was a very demanding account and it really stresed me out. However, this morning I have a total of 70 lines. I've bascially gone from 1200 lines a day to 70 lines (I'm paid by the line).

Jon is applying for jobs all over our state . . . everything from a car salesman to a cable technician to a commercial/consumer credit analyst. He's taken a test for a bank examiner with our state (which he passed with flying colors). He has his bachelor's degree in finance and has a wide range of experience in both consumer and commercial credit. He also has project management experience. I would be devastated if we had to move. . . but we've gotta do what we've gotta do.

He does have a house that is about to go on the market (hopefully). In July/August we have a house that we are leasing that should be purchased. Although our profit on this house isn't very much we put a good bit of our own money in it, so we should get a good bit of money when it closes. We're also going to probably put our house on the market. We got it at such a good deal, if it were to sell, we would make a pretty good profit.

So, here we are. I have NO idea what God is up to. I have NO idea in what direction we are heading. I have precious friends and family who are praying for us, which I am forever grateful for. Last night Jon came home for working on his house. I could tell he is just very heavy. This is not like him. He is normally very easygoing and "happy go lucky".

I keep reminding myself of how God provided the manna for the Israelites daily. He didn't "stock their accounts up". God has shown and proven Himself faithful to our family over the years, and I know He will this time. Now, how His faithfulness will come, I have absolutely NO idea, but I know that it will.

I can't wait to see how this story unfolds. . . Meanwhile, we are trusting, thanking, and loving our LORD!!!

The Busy Booger

She's been with me since I was 22 months old. I think my first words about her were, "Mama, get that baby out of my bed." We played a lot together as little girls.. . riding bikes, riding 4-wheelers (one time I actually ran over her head), jumping on the trampoline, playing Nintendo, watching TV, being at football games together (I was a majorette. She was on the drill team), going to the mall, stealing one another's clothes. We also fussed and bickered and even said we hated one another growing up. I'm the big sister she's always looked up too. She's the little sister who's loved me unconditionally. . . without fail.

We've fought over friends growing up. We even once dated the same guy (not at the same time). We've been mistaken as twins more times that we can count.

I remember my Grandmama telling me when I was a teenager, "One day you girls will be the best of friends." . . . "I'm NEVER going to be her friend," I said to her in my snottiest, brattiest voice.

Grandmama was right!!! She is one of the dearest and closest things to my heart. She can make me spit fire mad in a heartbeat. . . yet I'd give my very life for hers, without hesitation, in a heartbeat. I hurt when she hurts. I've cried more tears over her in the last 2 years (because of the pain she has gone through) than she'd ever know. I'm excited when she's excited. . . and when the two of us are together there is unmistakable bond between the two of us.

We can be in a room full of people and never speak 2 words to one another, yet it is known how close we are. We can be the silliest of the sillies when together or the serious of the serious. I safe with her. I always know she's on my side and she ALWAYS has my back!

About a week ago for 2 weeks prior to that I was super busy.. . more so than normal. I was trying to get ready for a homeschool fair plus pull off a surprise birthday party. You'd think I could have at least called her and said, "I love you. I'm sorry I'm so busy. I can't wait to see you."

Instead, she'd call me, and I'd be snappy. Ugggh, I so HATE that about myself. When I get in "so busy I can hardly think" mode, I tend to be snappy and snotty and just a plain booger to those I love most. . . I remember even snapping at my mom one morning. The next time she called I apologized for being a busy butthole (that is such an ugly word in my house).

So last week things were back to normal between the two of us. Sometimes talking 4 to 5 times a day, other times going a few days without talking. . . As we were "catching up", she told me, "I just cried to Scott telling him how much I missed you. I know you were busy, but I missed talking to you."

Let me tell you. . .

This BROKE.MY. HEART.!!!!

I told her how very sorry I was I made her cry and apologized for being such a booger when I'm so busy. I hate to the very core of my being hurting someone's feeling. This may sound honorable, but, trust me, I'm so guarded about other people's feelings, it is almost a character flaw on my part.

Thank goodness she loves me without fail. Otherwise, because of my ugliness, she'd written me off the first time she slept in my baby bed.

I love you Melissa!!! I promise from now on I won't get too busy to talk to you (Mama, that goes for you too:))

P.S. I also have a little sister, Kristen. I love Kristen dearly too. She and I both stay so busy and "get that" about one another. There I go, not wanting to exclude or hurt anyone's feelings, so I just wanted to tell Kristen (if you read this) I love you dearly and always love talking to you (even though it isn't as frequent as Mama or Melissa). You are my "bibbity, bobbity, boo".

Ultra Marathon

Okay, so here goes my post on this Ultra Marathon. I've been so reluctant to post, not because it is distant from my mind, but because there is SO much to say, yet I don't know how to say any of it. I'll start from start to finish and hopefully can put a tiny dent into what is commonly known between the 5 of us as . . . well. . . I won't say that. . .I'll just leave your minds to wondering.

The race started out with the bang of a cannon. We were all laughing and giggling when we started. I have a funny run. There, I said it. I do, so as we're all running Jon tells Angela that she runs similar to me. She playfully acts offended. I laugh my head off. Jon thinks its funny that I'm laughing that she's slightly offended. See, pure giggles here, purely lighthearted. . . all is fun, all is free, this is great. . . running with my hubby, running with my friends, a beautiful Saturday morning. All is lovely. If I were a princess in a Disney movie I'd be singing a song with the birds right now. . . everything is just that wonderful!

We hit the trails, get to a rope that we have to lower ourselves into a small creek to cross, then put ourselves up with another rope. Fun! We're running alongside Sweet Water Creek. I'm telling Jon how we need to bring the children here. I'm thinking how my friend, Faith, would love this. Everyone is chatty.

We hit mile 11. Seriously Angela and I feel like we have run a marathon. Jon's never run a marathon and Doug has only run one. The trails have really done a number on us. We're all still fairly pleasant though. . . that is . . .

until. . .

we hit what is known as "Top of the World". I cannot put into words what this roller coaster of mountains is. It is up hill, down hill . . . like 5 times. Excuse me, not hills, mountains. Going downhill was way harder than going uphill. We are all talking and mumbling a little bit. We're all pretty overwhelmed. Chuck is saying, "I told you guys." I keep saying with all the creativity I can must up, "The only way I know how to describe this is it is very, very hard." Doug really liked creative description. Ha!Ha!

We make it and told there is a mile to get to the next aid station. Longest mile of my life. . . or so I thought. . .

They had a smorgasbord for us. It was great. M&Ms, PB&J, sodas, pretzels, potatoes to dip in salt, water, Gatorade. We all refuel. Chuck says he's going ahead. He goes. We stay and eat.

Jon's foot started hurting him as we headed up TOTW. He took an ibuprofen. We all start running. Jon is in ALOT Of pain. he feels like a knife is stabbing his foot. Doug and Angela go on ahead. Jon tells me to. I'm not having it. He reminds me of runner's etiquette (if another runner tells you to go ahead, it is considered rude to stay back with them). I told him, "I am your wife, and I'm not leaving you. I don't care about runner's etiquette." He pushes through the pain. The ibuprofen kicks in and we kick it up a notch. The next aid station we catch up with Doug and Angela.

We are all whining and complaining about how tough this thing is. The thing is, in order to complete the race, we had to do it all over again. This course was a double loop.

I'm going to say again how hard it was to go downhill. Up hill was not a problem for me, but it was so rocky and so steep going downhill, you just had to be very careful or you would slip and bust it very easily.

We're all running. Angela says to Doug, "Doug, you set the pace." He stops. Seriously. We were all dying laughing. We all laughed, whined, laughed, complained, moaned, laughed, groaned, laughed so much during this thing. Wanna talk about true colors being shown?

By this time we're making the 2nd loop. We had to make mile 17 by 4 hours 30 minutes or you couldn't complete the course. Sheww, we made it! Now it was time for the river crossing. This was the thing that I was dreading. I knew the water was going to be dreadfully cold. However, it was mile 19. My legs and hips were SOOOO tight I was about ready to dive into the river. It was glorious!!! This was my favorite thing about the WHOLE race. After we crossed the river the first time we headed up 2 miles worth of mountains. Crud!!! Doug is so dehydrated I'm praying for him and I'm really concerned. We cross the river again.

Then, we get to another food station. They had the best rice crispy treats I've ever put into my mouth. Jon meets a guy who is working the food station. He tells him this is his first marathon. The guy suggests a salt tablet. Jon takes it along with more ibuprofen for his foot. We all start running again.

The salt tablet Jon took must've shot a rocket up his booty. He takes off like crazy leaving all the rest of us. I'm struggling. Doug asks me how I'm doing, "I'm not good. I feel awful." We all eventually catch up with Jon and continue running. Although I was struggling I knew Jon wasn't going to leave me. I knew he just felt good and needed to run. I knew he wouldn't get too far ahead of me.

By the time we catch up with him, I've already lost my mo jo. Jon is starting to lose his, so we walk. . like so slow it is almost a stroll through the woods. Doug and Angela go ahead.

We keeping going walking/trotting, then we stop seeing the orange markers. We realize we've taken a wrong turn somewhere. CRUD!!! We turn around. This poor guy who was behind us had followed us too. We apologize. This is like mile 22. The sun is beating down on us. We have NO water. Jon didn't think we needed any. We'd talked about this before the race. His thinking was there were water stops every 4 or so miles, and we all can run 4 miles without water. He didn't realize how different running trails and running the road was.

We are so parched. We see another stupid mountainous hill. Y'all I can't even describe how we were feeling. HORRIBLE is probably the best word I can come up with without just being downright ugly. We are having headaches. We're dizzy. I knew we were both dehydrated. We come to a creek, bend over, and start lapping up the water like we are dogs. Seriously. I kept saying, "Oh, this is so good. This is so good." It was almost like what you'd see on TV when people are in the desert and they come and find water. That is the best visual picture I can give of the both of us. Before we got there Jon said he was so desperate for water if another runner passed us who had water he was going to ask them for a swig. (Those who know Jon know this is TOTALLY out of his character). That is just how desperate we were. By the way, Jon apologized to me for being so adamant that he didn't think we needed to carry water with us.

Here we go, Top of the Stinkin' World AGAIN!!! Hill, after hill, after hill. We'd get to the bottom of one and then realize there was another one. Grown men would be hunched over this was so grueling. We make it, and there was water. It so revived us. We're heading to the food station and we realize we drank creek water out of an Atlanta creek. We then start thinking, "No kids, your parents didn't die from the race, they died because they drank out of the creek."

We see Doug and Angela. Told them what we'd done. Angela later told me she thought I was going to cry. They gave us their camel back to finish out the race with.

We see the food station. I must've looked like death warmed over because one of the volunteers told me to sit in a chair, under the tent, and she gave me all sorts of food. As I was reviving myself with PB&Js she and I become new BFFs. She thought I was 22 or 23 and Jon was 30 or so. I think I told her I loved her. In fact, I'm pretty sure I did. Jon had to practically pry me away from her. I was enjoying being social once again, rather than feeling like I was knocking on death's door.

We had to pull out though. We learned at this point they added 2 more miles to the race. Now instead of 31 miles, we will have run 34 (counting us making a wrong turn). Originally the time limit for 31 miles was 9 hours. Even though they added 2 more miles (our goofing the extra mile up wasn't their fault), we still wanted to make the cut off. We really wanted to finish this thing strong.

So, here we go, encouraging one another we could do this. We get to a water station and ask how much farther. They tell us 2 miles. We get to another water station and ask how much farther. They tells us. . . 2 miles. At this point I'm so mad. I told Jon, "If someones tells me one more time we have 2 more miles I'm going to be ugly." We keep running. We've run more and faster this leg of the race than any other. We'd just been do demoralized if we'd missed the 9 hour cut off by seconds or even minutes.

We see the finish line up ahead. Jon says, "Let's go babe." We came in at 8 hours, 56 minutes. I was done for! I was so teary eyed, yet so exhausted and dehydrated, my tears stayed in my eyes. Chuck, Angela, and Doug were right there cheering us on. We made it!!! They were wonderful to us. Chuck had us seats and water ready. He went and got our food tickets. Doug and Angela finished at 8 hours 25 minutes and Chuck finished around 8 hours 8 minutes.

Pure physical torture was the way I described it to everyone.

Ultra Marathons don't give out medals like half marathons and marathons do. They want to set themselves apart and be different. They gave us all a hat I wanted a picture with our hat. Jon said he wasn't wearing it.

He did later. . . for a picture with me. . . after he'd come back to life.

We get home. Jon's parents are taking the children to a passion play that night. Jon was so desperate for something to drink he called him mom and asked her to bring it our house (he never does stuff like this). We walk in and see these 2 sweet letters from the kids.

That says, "Thanks that you came back alive. Hanna." I guess she thought we were going to die.

Love ya'll. Get some rest. Love, Alec.

Jon and I get clean and get in the bed. It is about 7:00 p.m. The kids get home and they had to lock the house up and put themselves to bed.

The next morning Jon wakes up mad, mad that we didn't stay with Doug and Angela, that we didn't have the fortitude. You're kidding me, right? I was just so happy we finished in under 9 hours. We all swore during the race and even while we were eating afterwards that we'd never do it again.

We head to that morning church. I managed to get my heels on. Jon sees Doug in the choir. Doug points to his shirt. That crazy thing has his Sweetwater shirt on under his button up and tie. He was cracking us up! I think I saw him closing his eyes several times during the service. I'm just going to assume he was praying and not sleeping.

Everyone was so sweet. People coming up to us that I didn't even know knew we ran the race after church. Everyone was so supportive and encouraging. The Friday before the race we'd had a Good Friday service. A friend of ours (John C) who is an older gentleman came up to me and said, "I just wanted to tell you goodbye in case you don't make it, and, I'll be seeing you in a few years." Ha!Ha! I think he was glad we made it (ha!ha!). Angela, Doug, Jon and I and our families stayed after church talking about the race. They want to do the thing again. I just couldn't believe it. I told them, "Y'all know I don't like to miss a party, even if its a bad one. So, I guess I'm in."

What in the world have I done?

10 on the 10th

You know when every single room in your house is a mess, and you feel so totally overwhelmed you just don't know where to start? So sometimes you just leave it all a mess for awhile.. . that is until you gear yourself up and talk yourself into tackling it just like a coach would do before a big game? That is how I feel about blogging right now. Since scrapbooking and I are no longer apart of one another's lives, this blog serves as a scrapbook for me. It is very important to me that I document our lives in the pictorial sense. So, in an effort to try and get caught up on blogging, and in honor of Meredith's 10 on the 10th, I've combined 10 blog posts into one.

It will take much dedication and tenacity to make it through this post. Just warning you. So, if you're ready. . . on your mark, get set, GO!!!


1. WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

As we were helping my parents move this weekend, the girls wanted to spend the night. There was nowhere for them to sleep. Mama was trying to work it out so they'd be happy. I just kept telling them no. Finally, I'd heard enough of their whining. I looked at Hanna and in a frustrated tone said, "I said no. What part of no don't you understand?"

Her response, "The N and the O."

I laughed so hard I could hardly stand it. There went my frustration out the door.


2. SOUTH CAROLINA ZOO

A little over a month ago the kiddos and I took a trip to visit my sister, Melissa. We are all so excited that they've moved to Columbia, SC. It's so much closer than Dallas, TX. We all took a trip to the zoo.

Hanna cracked me up with this mail. You'd think she was "Dora the Explorer." That show hasn't graced our TV in years. Every time we would leave an exhibit, she'd pull out her map and look to see where we should go next.

The gorilla was really cool. Only this piece of thick plexy glass separated us from him. It was really neat to see his fingers, toes, and the kids got a good giggle out of seeing his booty.

The girls wanted to bring their purses with them. We told them THEY had to carry them. Guess who ended up with them?

Sweet cousins!

3. SO EVERYONE WOULD FEEL AT HOME

Last Monday my friend Jennifer called to say she would not be at Bible study. As we were talking I told her I had piles of laundry so high that I wouldn't have time to fold before everyone got there. She told me, "Just leave it. That way everyone would feel at home." I listened to her. Guess what? They did feel at home.

4. SPRING SPRINT

"Faithful Feet's" 2nd 5K together. Along with my family 2 other families were participating. Poor Faith, she was really looking forward to this race. She'd gotten some new shoes that I know made her super fast. Plus, I told her a creme-filled donut would be waiting for her at the finish line. The day before the race her daughter broke her arm. We had her oldest 2 kiddos with us so they could run the race. We missed Faith, Steven, KJ, and "Flash", but Jennifer, Jon, and I and all the kiddos had a GREAT race!

There are 2 kids in this picture that are not in Faithful Feet. They play soccer with us, but we didn't want to exclude them from the picture.

Me and my girls.

Alec had an awesome race. He came in 1st in his age group. I was so proud of him.

Noah did a great job too!

Here are Hanna and I coming up for a strong finish. This was her 1st 5K so I ran with her. She finished in 34:09. Bless her heart, about mile 2, she kept asking me, "Is it almost over?"

Ashley was DYNAMITE!!! She was the first overall lady to cross the finish line and won her age group.

Hanna came in 3rd in her age group

Alec is going to be a close competitor with me. He won his age group and was 4th or 5th overall crossing the finish line.

All these boys did a terrific job.

5. HOMESCHOOL BOOKSALE

It's that time of year again. . . we love the homeschool book sale. This year I sold A LOT of my curriculum. I'm revamping all of my curriculum. In order to pay for the new stuff I needed to sale the old stuff. This year was much more overwhelming for me. I really didn't buy as much as I had planned. There were just SO MANY PEOPLE and SO MANY BOOKS!!!

One cool thing I found those is amongst the thousands of books there I saw this book called, "The Mystery of the Boston Marathon." This fall my friends and I are going to try to qualify for the Boston Marathon. I took me finding this book as a sign that we'd all qualify. Ha!Ha!

During the used book sale Alec hung out with his buddies Noah and Griffin. I'm so glad these boys have one another! Their families are a big blessing to our family.

6. EASTER

Honestly, Easter was quite a blur this year. The day before we'd run our Ultra Marathon (I promise a post is coming soon). We did make it to church that Sunday. I think we actually did our egg hunt on Monday. I rationalized in my head that hunting eggs was actually a pagan tradition (this is really true) so it was no big deal that we didn't do it on Easter. I didn't even have baskets for the kids. We used plastic sacks. . .

By the looks of everyone's faces I think Hanna and Cookie enjoyed it the most.

Ash always gets mad and pouts if she doesn't get the prize egg. I think there is a pouter in every family, whether or not people chose to admit it or not.

7. DAUSET TRAILS

We headed to Dauset Trails and enjoyed a day with our friends. We looked at the animals. The kids got to hang out with their friends and the parents got to hang out with our friends. We all had a picnic together. It was such a beautiful day.

8. CHILDREN SINGING

I'm so thankful I almost always have my camera with me. One Sunday night the kids were singing, and I didn't even realize it. I always love it when I see my babies up in front of the church singing. Just warms this Mama's heart. Thank goodness they were dressed halfway decent that night.

9. PARENT'S WATCH WEEK

The studio where Hanna takes ballet has a couple of times a year "Parent's Watch Week". It is really a big deal to the ballerinas and their parents. Hanna was so excited and kept asking, "Is Daddy going to make it to Parent's Watch Week?" (he was working out of town a lot at the time)

Splits . . .

10. STONE MOUNTAIN HIKE

Our homeschool group went on a hike to Stone Mountain. For those of us who tend to run late we were told, "We're hiking at 10:00". Unfortunately we weren't told there was more than one parking lot. We got there at 9:38. I was so proud of us for being early. My friend Jennifer G was already there, so we hung out with her crew. Then Jennifer B. drove up. She was there before 10:00 too (I was super proud of her). It got to be almost 10:00, then I received a text from Tiffani letting us know there was a different parking lot.

Thing is, they weren't kidding. They started hiking at 10:00, so we were a little behind. My feathers were a little ruffled that we weren't told there was a separate parking lot and we were left, but I calmed down and no one (other than Jon) knew I was peeved. I was glad to be with the 2 Jennifers. We all eventually got caught up with one another.

Hanna was one serious hiker, and she was cute as a button too!

Alec was a hoot. He packed his ruck sack, making sure it weighed 25 lbs. He's really into Navy Seals right now. So I'm sure all of this had to do with all this Navy Seal stuff in his head.

A hiking we will go. . .

At the top. See how hard they worked. They're all sweaty!

The kid crew. . . minus Hanna. She was being a booger, and I wasn't up for arguing with her not being in the group picture.

Our family

The moms

After our hike we headed to the picnic area and had a picnic. Jon was jealous of Steve. Steve had white bread, non-natural peanut butter, jelly, and a soda. Jon had wheat bread, natural peanut butter, jelly, and vitamin water. It was like he was 8 years old again in the cafeteria at school wanting the other kids' lunch. They kids all played, while the grownups all talked. We had a great day with our friends. I also loved that several of the Dads made it and got to fellowship with one another.

If you made it through the longest blog post in the history of blogging, you deserve a round of applause, a cookie, a donut, and a cup of coffee!!! CONGRATULATIONS