Mother to Son

I had this little pocket book called "Mother to Son" by Melissa and Henry Harrison.  A friend of mine was getting ready to adopt a little boy, so I thought she would really appreciate reading it as she prepared to bring her boy home.  However, there were some things I needed to remember and be reminded of. . . so I typed them all up.

For those of you with sons. . . here they are.

• If he becomes paralyzed when a girl says hello, you'll know he's discovered the opposite sex.
• Inevitably, a girl will break his heart.
• He will need you to explain the way girls think.  His  dad can't help him there.
• You can't stop him from falling for a girl whose life is in chaos. But you can explain what her life is doing to his.
• Don't be surprised when the girl he introduces as his future wife is uncannily similar to you.
• Believe in him. More than he believes in himself.
• Remember, you're still one of his most important role models.
• Praise him for his qualities, not only his accomplishments.
• Try to see things from his point of view.  Sometimes.
• Tell him often what it is you respect about him.
• Find out what motivates him, what inspires him, what fires him up.
• Don't expect all of his actions to make sense.  In many ways, he's still a child.
• If he knows he can come to you with a problem, he will.
• Appreciate his accomplishments.  Your opinion means everything to him.
• Learn the difference between supporting him and rescuing him.
• Hold him accountable for his actions.
• He will always need you when he is in pain - emotionally, spiritually, physically.  Always.
• If he loses your trust, let him earn it again.
• Expect success.  Expectations have a way of becoming a reality.
• Don't feel sorry for him.  That doesn't do him any long-term favors.
• If you're criticizing him constantly, the problem is you.
• Make him talk to you.  Don't let him shut you out of his life.
• He will want to talk at the most odd, mysterious, inconvenient times.  Stop what you're doing and talk.
• Remind him to smile.
• Don't hold him back.  Let him be independent.
• Make sure he knows that he who he can be doesn't depend on who he has been.
• If it's dangerous, life-threatening, and makes no sense, he will love it.  Brace yourself.
• Don't defend his mistakes.
• Tell him you're proud of him.  Tell him why.
• Learn to listen without judgement.  Or even without talking.
• He will spend hours obsessing over cars you will never buy for him.  It's a guy thing.
• Remind him that each time he loses his integrity, it becomes harder and harder to find.
• Teach him that sharing what he has is one of the keys to happiness.
• Remember, the stronger a mother you are, the stronger a man he will become.
• Treat him like the man you want him to become.
• Hug him fiercely.
• Remember, he'll be back.  He's hungry.
• Let him go.