Letting Go

Tonight, my little man is attending his first "group sleepover." He has spent the night off before with 2 other families that we are close with. However, we are pretty protective parents and we only let our kids spend the night with those we are completely comfortable with. Call it possessive. Call it protective. Whatever, it is what we are. However, Alec has been going through a lot lately. Last night my hubby came back home from being out of town for a few days. What a better way to celebrate than to go to our favorite pizza hangout!!! After swim practice Alec and I met Jon and the girls at our very favorite pizza spot here in town. Alec decided to ride home with me. He and I were listening to this radio program and it was talking about parents putting stress on their kids. The radio host then went into post traumatic stress, etc. At that point I turned the radio down, and half jokingly asked Alec if he felt that we put stress on him. He busted into tears!!! He started talking and really spewing forth like a fountain about to burst. I listened and prayed God would give me the words he needed to hear. We had a long heart-to-heart talk about different issues he is going through. I'm telling you, if I had a wish list, at the top of it would be a 1-hour consultation with Dr. James Dobson. This whole prepuberty thing is throwing me for a loop, especially with a boy. You see I come from a family of girls and the only boy I was ever really around growing up was my cousin, whom I only saw on holidays.

We got home and he went upstairs and I went downstairs to put some laundry in the washing machine. He came down and gave me this big hug. I know I held him for at least 15 minutes. This really meant so much to me because he is just not an affectionate person. His demeanor and his attitude were so pleasant the rest of the night. It was almost like him saying what he needed to say and getting some issues off his chest in an environment where there was no one to condemn him (i.e., sisters) freed him. We all sat down to watch television and he cuddled up next to me. We had a wonderful night!

Well, that night after everyone was in bed, I told Jon the details of mine and Alec's conversation. He mainly just took in what I said. One thing about my wonderful husband is he is way wise beyond his years. Sometimes he takes things in that I say and doesn't say anything, but I know he prays about them, and then later will come to me and we will talk more in-depthly about things. You learn these things after 12 years of marriage. So I knew to just be patient and wait.

Today, after Alec finished school , Jon told him to get dressed that they were going to work. Alec resisted and did not want to go. Jon said that was that and he was going - all in a fun-loving, friendly manner. Alec accepted and off they went. Later in the day Jon gave me a call and we talked about a sleepover birthday party Alec had been invited to. Jon really thought we should let him go. He told me to pray about it, and he would call me back in 1/2 hour. I really had a peace about him going. Jon talked with Alec about peer pressure and even shared with Alec about times when he was in school that all of his friends did drugs and they were all determined to get Jon to do them. However, he always resisted and never gave into that pressure. But, he did let Alec know there were times when he did give into peer pressure concerning other issues (I believe he was pretty vague on these) and that it was hard. He assured Alec that if he ever does give into peer pressure that he is always safe to come to us, and we will not get angry with him. Precious moments between a father and a son. It truly makes my heart flutter and skip an extra beat.

Okay, about this sleepover. There are at least 10-15 boys. They are sleeping in a barn. Not a barn for animals, but a barn this family uses for entertaining. It has concrete floors, 4 walls, a roof, a wood-burning stove, etc. I have to admit I am nervous about the wood-burning stove in the barn especially after everyone falls asleep. I even encouraged Alec to stay up all night!! We have known this wonderful, Godly family for about 5 years now. We know several of the boys that were going to be there. In fact, most of the boys go Alec's "homeschool school", some are homeschooled and some go there full time. The mother did tell me some of the video games and movies they were going to watch. Okay now, anyone who knows me, knows I am pretty picky about what I let my children see. They really watch very little TV, and pretty much the only TV they are allowed to watch is PBS (that is probably why they watch so little). I am also pretty strict about video games. I felt kind-of bad that every movie or video game the mother said I was like, "ewww." But, Alec is a good kid. We told him that he knew what we approved of and what we didn't, and we trusted he would make the right decision - Letting go -YEP- a little bit at a time. The LORD brought to my memory something James Dobson says in "Bringing up Boys." He said to help curb rebellion there is a fine line. You can't let them have too much freedom too soon or it can be disastrous. But, you also can not let them have too little freedom or it can be disastrous. So, here is this clingy, controlling, mama in high heels, trusting God and letting go of her little man one string at a time. Now, certainly not my heart strings, but my controlling strings.

He was so excited and it delighted me so! Bless his heart. He had a Winnie-the-Pooh sleeping bag that he got for Christmas I think when he was 3. He was totally fine with taking it. My sister, Melissa, has always said that one of the things she loves most about him is he is comfortable with who he is. He didn't care if he was taking a Winnie-the-Pooh sleeping bag. But, Jon did take him to buy him a real sleeping bag before he took him to the party.

I called my mom and said, "Guess what? I am turning into you!!" I made him take my cell phone with him. That is so my mama!!! Just like my mama, I really want to call him about 10 times to check on him. Jon told Alec in front of me that I would not be calling him; that he is to use the phone if he wants to come home or if he needs us. Darn!!! I guess I am going to have to practice some submission - hard as it is!!!! Maybe I can give mom a call and get her to call and check on him? Just kidding!!!