Stick 'em Up

Alec and I had a pretty big blow up last week. This is starting to become more of a norm around here rather than just an occasional thing. After we duked it out with our words he came to me the next day and asked me if I'd play air soft guns with him.

Typically I'm not a "play" mom. I love to read to my kids, love to play games, go on bike rides, walks, etc., but playing really is not my thing. It took me a long time to freely admit that I didn't like to play. . . and when I was able to do this it was truly liberating.

I knew he really needed this from me, so I agreed. . . He warned me that he was going to blow me out of the water. Guess what?


I won!!! I did, I did, I did. I was so very excited. Mind you I used about 500 pellets to his 50 pellets, but I still won. . .

And. . . I squealed like a whiny girl when he shot me. He laughed. It was a good time. I really had a lot of fun.

Afterwards he talked nonstop to me about air soft guns. It took me back to a time when he was so very chatty . . . all the time. . . a time when his mom was the apple of his eye . . . a time when things were less difficult with him. . . a time I miss that seems very far in the distant past.

I've had some really good advice from friends lately who have been through adolescence or is currently there. This really, really helps. It helps me to know that we are "normal" right now. I'm learning to love him more and more even when I don't like him, even when he hurts my heart incredibly bad . . . to try and love more and be less angry with him. And when he flies off at the handle to not fly off with him, rather speak softly and gently to him (this is really hard because this kid knows how to push my buttons). To die to myself.. . and to realize shepherding his heart is way more important that my "to do" list. . . to bring all of my cares and concerns to the cross daily. To not think in the future with all of my "what ifs" as far as to what kind of person he turns out to be. These are all things I needed to be reminded of.