My Great Love for a Soldier and an Angel

Our decision to do Nutcracker was very last minute this year. Then when we decided to let Hanna do it, the tryouts took place during the death of my Papa. The ballet studio was so gracious to still give Hanna a part. The girl really lucked out . . . she got 2 parts.

A sweet angel. . .

And. . . a soldier

Now the practices are every.single.Saturday from anywhere to 1-3 hours. . . YIKES! especially when your other child plays soccer every Saturday.

And. . . you are only allowed to miss 2 practices. In fact, when I ran my marathon, my mom was so sweet to come and take Hanna to practice for me.

The Nutcracker requires a lot of dedication from both the parents and the children, but . . .

When you see your sweet, precious child on stage, all dressed up in costume. . .

it is just absolutely P-R-I-C-E-L-E-S-S!!!

The first time I saw Hanna all dressed up as a solider, I thought I would melt like butter. . .

She was literally one of the most precious things my eyes had ever beheld. . .

She, of course, was a bundle of nerves . . .

But she did an excellent job. By the end of the 4th performance, she was an old pro. . .

Because Hanna is so extremely introverted, ballet is so good for her because it allows her to express herself without having to verbally say anything. . .

She loves it!!! And we LOVE that she loves it!

She got to make new friends while practicing every Saturday. . .

And hang out with them backstage. . .

The weird thing is is this little girl she is pictured with . . . her daddy and Jon were friends growing up. They don't keep in touch anymore. . . but I just thought it was weird how Hanna and this little girl were drawn to one another . . . amongst all of the other girls they could have chosen to be friends with. . .

This lovely lady here is one of Hanna's favorite ballerinas . . . her old ballet teacher, Ms. Jena.

If Hanna is ever the center of attention, she DOES NOT like it (just like her Daddy). The night of her first performance we all prayed together has a family. She wouldn't even stay in the same room with us. She was lying down on the stairs.

After her first performance she asked her for her Daddy. . . these 2 totally get one another, and I think their relationship and silliness that only they can understand is precious.

I'm so thankful God has given us the means to be able to afford to do things like this.

I'm so grateful for all of the love and support Hanna had from our family and friends.

Both of my sisters and brother-in-laws made it and my parents, and my niece and nephew. Jon's parents were there, and we had several dear friends come out to support her. One friend who didn't make it was even so thoughtful to text me to wish Hanna good luck. I so very much appreciate all of you who were thinking of her and praying for her.

We had an awesome time. Now, I will say this, by the Sunday afternoon performance. . . we were all beat. When Hanna and I got home we both sat on the couch and crashed. It was all very much worth the time and money it required. I can't wait until next year!

Black Friday

Oh I had such mother guilt about Black Friday this year. Alec was still running a fever. Hanna had to be at Nutcracker dress rehearsal. I decided to go anyway. . . knowing Alec would be mostly sleeping while I was gone . . .and also knowing his Daddy could take just as good of care as him as I could.

I had one big item I had my eye on . . . Rock Band for the Xbox 360 for $50. This would be a family gift (my favorite ones).

I was so excited I woke up at 1:45 that morning. I got up, put some makeup on, pulled my hair in a pony tail, and put my "Run Girl Run" hat on and headed out the door.

I was meeting my mom and baby sister.

I went to Old Navy first and had to wait in line to even get in the door. Now, mind you, the store had been open for 45 minutes. . . but because of the crowd they would only allow a certain number of people in when people came out of the store. Crazy, I tell you. . . just plain crazy. I went and picked out a couple of a pair of jeans. . . then looked at the line. I knew there was NO WAY I was going to get my jeans and be at Wal-Mart in time. I put my selfish side aside and left . . .with NOTHING.

I got to Wal-mart and followed the guy who was rolling out the XBox 360 Rock Band games. I followed him like a puppy following its master. I stood where he stood, walked where he walked. . . you get the picture. he finally found us a home and I stood beside them.

There was this girl who was CLEARLY very loud and aggressive and meant she was getting one of these items and didn't care who she had to stomp on to get it. Quite frankly, she scared me . . .
That is . . . until my Mama got there. . .

Mama made it LOUD and CLEAR she would fight who needed to be fought. She jokingly teased with this man (see him behind the boxes?) that she was fighting for ME and would fight HIM if she needed to. With Mama by my side I wasn't so scared of this girl in orange anymore. Mama also brought coffee to get us geared up and ready to go!!!

It's so funny the things that run through your head as you are waiting for your item. I literally was thinking, "Okay, Michele, you're in pretty good shape. You could definitely pick up and hold one of these and even run if you need to. Oh, but this girl in the orange. She seems pretty mean. Are you that mean, Michele? Could you really fight her if you had to? Would her aggressiveness outweigh your athleticism? Is it really THAT important?" I was ready to do what needed to be done. See my big purse? No, that's not luggage!! It is the BEST purse ever made, and I LOVE it!!! I even draped it across my chest so I would have more moving room with my arms . . . in case I had to use them . . . you know? . . . to throw an elbow . . . just kidding. . . sort of *smile*

With all of my stuff, my Mom's stuff, and my little sister's stuff. . . we had 3 buggies piled high!!!

Mama was beat!!! She's been battling a tough cold and her voice sounds like fingernails going down a chalkboard. I love talking with her, but there were times when I would ask her to be quiet. Her voice was so scratchy and painful sounding. . .

In this belly lies my future niece or nephew. My little sister is pregnant, and we are all so very excited.

Hopefully now I will get to be the fun aunt.

I about fell on the floor when we were standing in line for the bathroom and Kristen pulls out these (from her coat pocket)

You HAVE got to be kidding me!! She takes them everywhere she goes. . . and just when you thought you knew someone. . . there's always something new to be learned. . .

I teased my mom. She said, "Well I just got out of bed today. I don't care about fashion." I said out loud, "Well, obviously you don't Mama. Otherwise, you wouldn't be wearing that sweater." We had great time and laughed a lot.

This is truly one of my very favorite days of the year. I was a little bummed because I had to be in my car by 9:30. Jon was going to take Alec to the doctor and/or Hanna to the dress rehearsal and I was going to do the other. Anyway, we were both needed at home. . . it was probably for the better though . . . at least I spent less money, right? A good bargain is my kryptonite. . . it makes me weak in the knees and I tend to buy more than I need.. . .so good thing I had to leave early.

The Thanksgiving without a Turkey

This year I was so looking forward to going home Wednesday night to my Mama's house, laughing, seeing my Mom and Stepdad, laughing, seeing my sisters, laughing, playing games, oh yeah. . . and laughing. . . I was excited about going to see my Grandmama. . . although slightly dreading walking through their house not seeing my Papa there. ..

Tuesday night things got all changed around. . . . Alec got sick and was running fever. We decided we would "play things by ear" and at worst, we could leave Thanksgiving morning to go see our family.

We even bounced around going to Ryan's and picking up food to bring home if we had to stay here. I told my sweet friend Lisa (I would link to her blog but she NEVER blogs) this. . . she was NOT having it!!! She insisted that we come over to her house . . . or she would bring us food to our house. I told Jon. He said that's what we'd do. I'm so grateful to have friends that are more like family. . . Friends that we can invite over for hot dogs and not a fancy meal. . . friends that we can call up and say, "Wanna come watch a movie".. . . friends that we can talk with for hours or saying nothing at all.

Thanksgiving morning I was in such a funk. . . I was mix of melancholy and mad. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, and although Jon and the girls would have gone to Tim's and Lisa's and brought Alec and I back lunch. . . it just didn't feel like Thanksgiving. It wasn't eventful like every other year had been. We almost always go either to my grandparents or Jon's parents. It was just like an ordinary day.

Then my sweet hubby got on the Internet and started looking up recipes. He planned our menu, took the girls to the grocery store and got all the ingredients. The girls and I were going to cook our first Thanksgiving meal. I was so very excited. This was going to be a very special day with the smell of turkey and dressing coming from the kitchen. . . .except for one thing. . .

Although I put the turkey in cold water. . . it didn't thaw. . . so Jon went out again and got an already cooked Rotisserie chicken.. .

My poor sweet boy was sick as he could be . . . so sick he actually thanked me for being up with him in the middle of the night. . . this is just not like him. . . although he was sick, it was a good time for us to bond. . .

Sweet Hanna loved peeling potatoes.

Ashley made the corn souffle all by herself. She read the directions and did the whole thing from start to finish without me. I'm so proud of her.

I looked like nothing short of death warmed over. . . so I'd only allow Ash to take a picture of my apron.. . .the apron I NEVER wear. . . it's cute as can be though. ..

The boys watched a movie. Ash would giggle and say, "The boys are the couch potatoes and we are the sweet potatoes."

Hanna made sweet potato souffle and blackberry cobbler.

Ash also made the cornbread dressing with a little help from me.

I did have a little bit of Thanksgiving past with me. . . these brown and serve rolls. My Grandmama fixes them for every meal. I think she and Papa must have stock in these rolls because she fixes them so much . . . just kidding.

Now my table was not decorated for the fall or anything. . . so I had to do the best I could on the spur of the moment. I even lit the candles.

Ash and Hanna made these place cards for everyone as a surprise. . .

Jon and the girls made our dinner extra special with sparking grape juice. . .

Here's the spread . . .chicken, mashed potatoes, corn souffle, sweet potato casserole, green beans, cornbread dressing, and blackberry cobbler and ice cream. . .

I had so much fun cooking in the kitchen with my girls. Although I missed my family terribly we made the best of our day. . . our first Thanksgiving in our new home was wonderful!

Stick 'em Up

Alec and I had a pretty big blow up last week. This is starting to become more of a norm around here rather than just an occasional thing. After we duked it out with our words he came to me the next day and asked me if I'd play air soft guns with him.

Typically I'm not a "play" mom. I love to read to my kids, love to play games, go on bike rides, walks, etc., but playing really is not my thing. It took me a long time to freely admit that I didn't like to play. . . and when I was able to do this it was truly liberating.

I knew he really needed this from me, so I agreed. . . He warned me that he was going to blow me out of the water. Guess what?


I won!!! I did, I did, I did. I was so very excited. Mind you I used about 500 pellets to his 50 pellets, but I still won. . .

And. . . I squealed like a whiny girl when he shot me. He laughed. It was a good time. I really had a lot of fun.

Afterwards he talked nonstop to me about air soft guns. It took me back to a time when he was so very chatty . . . all the time. . . a time when his mom was the apple of his eye . . . a time when things were less difficult with him. . . a time I miss that seems very far in the distant past.

I've had some really good advice from friends lately who have been through adolescence or is currently there. This really, really helps. It helps me to know that we are "normal" right now. I'm learning to love him more and more even when I don't like him, even when he hurts my heart incredibly bad . . . to try and love more and be less angry with him. And when he flies off at the handle to not fly off with him, rather speak softly and gently to him (this is really hard because this kid knows how to push my buttons). To die to myself.. . and to realize shepherding his heart is way more important that my "to do" list. . . to bring all of my cares and concerns to the cross daily. To not think in the future with all of my "what ifs" as far as to what kind of person he turns out to be. These are all things I needed to be reminded of.

Turning Complaints into Praise

This year instead of making a grateful list I'm going to turn things that I'm normally tempted to complain about into things to be thankful for. . .

1. I'm thankful for my job. Although in a perfect world, in a perfect situation, I'd rather not work. . . I have a great job. . . a job that allows flexibility (somewhat), allows me to be at home with my kids and only takes up about 1-2 hours of the time they are actually awake. It allows us to pay our bills and not lack for anything we need. I'm grateful that my boss finds me dependable and requires a good bit from me, especially when others are out of town.

2. I'm thankful for a sink full of dishes and the never ending piles of laundry. Dirty dishes means our tummies are full and dirty clothes means we have clothing to keep us warm.

3. I'm thankful for an adolescent, smart-mouth, sometimes disrespectful and dishonoring boy. Because every time he speaks in a harsh way to me, it gives me an opportunity to direct him and correct him with the word of God.

4. I'm grateful for whiny, disobedient, hyper, and loud children. This means they are healthy and here at home with me. They are full of energy and not filled with fatigue. They embrace life to the fullest and teach me how to live life fully.

5. I'm grateful for all of the things I have to juggle. This teaches me that I am far more capable of handling things that I otherwise think I couldn't do.

6. I'm grateful that my alarm goes off at 4:00 a.m. This means that I am healthy enough and have enough energy to get out of bed and work.

7. I'm grateful for the dog pee and poop I have to clean up. This means I've been blessed with an incredible dog that I love in spite of himself.

8. I'm grateful for family members that are sometimes hard to get along with . . . whether it is because I think they don't like me or we have nothing in common. . . this stretches me and teaches me to love people even when I don't want to or don't feel like it.

9. I'm grateful for my tight jeans. This means I am well fed and being super skinny, like less than a size 2 or right now a size 2 for that matter, isn't as high as a priority as it used to be.

10. I'm grateful that I don't have much time to myself to read, scrapbook, sew, or knit. . . it means I am out enjoying life with OTHERS.

11. I'm grateful for a slow economy and a husband who doesn't have a job. This means we really know who meets our needs . . . not our jobs or our bosses. . but The Boss, God. It gets us on our knees more, ever more depending on His provision. This also means that maybe, just maybe. . . Jon will be forced to take a job that otherwise he'd be fearful of taking or wouldn't want to pursue. . . and maybe from that he will find the fulfillment he desires and God's will for his life will revealed to him. Also it gives us lots of time together, which I can't think of a better way to spend my days other than with those I love the most.

Sweet Sunday

Sundays are one of my favorite days of the week. There is just something so special about going to worship our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, with our church family. I love the encouragement, the fellowship, getting fed the Word, and the corporate worship. No matter where I have gone to church my church family has always been an extensive of my earthly family. Although I was lonely for a church family for a long time since leaving our other church (we were there 8 years). . .God has blessed our family amazingly with a new church (not official yet, but hopefully any day now :)). God has over and over confirmed that us leading our former church was the right thing to do.

This Sunday was, for some reason. . . nothing new or special. . . but, it just felt extra sweet to me.

I got up and did my usual Sunday paper run. I actually run 2 miles before leaving the house. I grocery shopped, came home, got the crew ready and headed out the door. We had a Sunday School social at our house last Sunday. . . averaging about 30 kids and 20-25 adults. . . I think others being in your home brings you closer together... We have an amazing Sunday School teacher who has such a heart for the Lord and His people.

The message our pastor preached was one of those messages that is as if God Himself is speaking right to you. It was a message dealing with things I know the Holy Spirit had been directing me to do. . . and our pastor confirmed those things to me with his sermon.

We went straight home after church and had leftovers for lunch. I ate, grabbed my book and headed to my bedroom. I read for a little bit and then took a Sunday nap (there is nothing like a nap on Sunday).

When I woke up I had a plate of brownies beside my bed with 1 Ritz cracker (I still don't know why 1 Ritz). The girls made brownies ALL BY THEMSELVES and saved some for mom. . . .and, of course, they had a sweet little note with their chocolately goodness.

I made my yummy baked potato soup because that night after church we were having a fellowship after the service. Most times our Sunday night services are very similar to Sunday mornings. . . This service, however, was filled with more prayer and praise and less preaching. We sang praise songs and hymns. . . we then got into small groups and prayed over specific things that we were directed to pray over. . .

One of these things touched my heart so much. We were asked to pray for those who would be experiencing their first holiday season without a loved one. As Jon prayed for my Grandmama tears flowed down my face. There was such a sweet spirit in the air. I just can't imagine how my Grandmama is dreading this season. I'm already dreading walking into their house and not see my Papa popping up to great me . . . to ask me about my marathon. . . to tell me how good Jesus is and how lost we would be without Him. I just know it will never be the same without him. . .and one of my biggest fears is there will not be as much laughter. He was quite the character and very entertaining. . . and one of my very favorite things to do in this entire world is laugh. . . and I wonder if some of the laughter at family gatherings left when my Papa did.

Anyhoo, back to Sunday. . . we had a chili/soup fellowship time after the service. We talked and laughed and connected more with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Jon tried to talk a little theology with my friend, Angela . . . bless his heart. . . he said afterwards he felt so dumb that he needed to go through Awana before he talked/debated with her again. She is so super-smart.

It was such a sweet time, and I'm so very grateful for where God has placed us at this point in our lives.

Just a Little Gratefulness

I have so very much to be thankful for. When Jon and I went to St. Simons a month or so back, when I got home, my sweet and very thoughtful girls had a present for me. It was this . . .

Having a grateful heart . . . how do you get to that place? As I look at each of my children, who all grow up under the same roof. They have all the same material things. They all have the same rules, boundaries, and freedoms. . . yet, there are some more grateful than the others. Why are we this way?

I consider myself a person who has a grateful heart. I remember after we bought our house and were doing our remodeling Jon was making a good bit of the decisions regarding the decor. At times he would feel badly and want me to interject. I told him with all sincerity in my heart, "I'm just so grateful to have the house. I don't care." In fact, when we went to pick out our granite countertops the lady even remarked that she'd never seen a couple agree like we had; most couples picking out "stuff" didn't agree very much with one another.

In honor of gratefulness, I'd like to post a few things I'm grateful for.

I'm grateful my sweet Ashley got her braces off right before Halloween. I'm grateful we had the money to pay for them. I'm grateful that her teeth look so.much.better.

My love language is words of affirmation. I really need a "that a girl", "I love you", "good job", "you look pretty". Words make me feel either very loved or very unloved. . . depending on how they're used. I'm grateful for "love notes" from anyone. These are some Alec wrote to me. They are all the more special, because this is just typically not him. I know he is really stepping out of his comfort zone when he does things like this. It really means so much to me.

I'm grateful for thoughtfulness, the love and support of my family and friends. . . which are all summed up in this little tree that sits in my yard. When my Papa went to be with Jesus, a group of my friends got together and bought me this beautiful magnolia tree to plant in his honor. It sits right out front of my house. I was moved beyond words when these precious people, that I have the very honor of calling my friends, gave this to me. . . truly one of the best presents I've ever received.

What about you all? What are YOU grateful for?